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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > second thoughts Author Post TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/22/2004 9:21:38 AM   If noone else Del` I understand your reasons, however I share concerns that you are being emotionally blackmailed and that isnt fair either. Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/22/2004 10:53:17 AM   dma- I forgot to congratulate you on the birth of your son. So "Congratulations" When are you handing out the cigars? Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/22/2004 3:21:25 PM   Dma, just read this lot. Yeah, congrats, enjoy the little bugger, but maybe, just maybe you want to go fishing, somewhere lonely and isolated. May I recommend the Irish lakes? Great Pike there, old & clever. Seems to me just like MB. Read his comment DMA, and think about what you're going to do. I'll add some to his. You broke up with yer ex for reasons clear to you. Just assume that specific night nothing happened hence no conception hence no son - you would not be 'back', for the same reasons as above. Now you have a son - tell me what's changed? D, I've got no intention whatsoever to 'slag' anyone here, but splitting up has reasons, and they don't change when a kid is born later. Just realize it's damn risky what you're about to do, but please know one thing - if it works out you'll be the exception to the rule. Goodluck with the fishing.... TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/22/2004 7:35:34 PM   TD !!! Where the hell have you been mate ??? Good to see you again ;o)) jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 3:42:10 AM   I missed Thunder's comments in the last while. He plays devil's advocate at times but always makes points to consider - and not always complimentary. Stay with us Thunder - don't be a stranger. For instance I agree with what he said above. The joy of a new child may be wonderful - but it doesn't patch the cracks in a former relationship. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 3:58:15 AM   To Tim: Been meaning to write back to you. I appreciate the concern - but no one could have persuaded me not to see the Moldovan I went to see. It was a bad decision but I take full credit (responsibility) for it myself. But it was nice to see that someone from this forum was so concerned. It is hard enough to find such good friends in regular (noncyber) life - even harder to find them on an internet forum. In response to the comments written above. Though there is no child involved (let's hope) this thread still has some pertinance to my situation - she thinks I am doing a fiance visa. Why? Because I told her I would - and I meant it at the time. But now back in the states, back in control of my life and able to control my own destiny - I feel quite different (to those who need explanation please read my other posts). I feel guilty though I really don't feel I have done anything wrong. I was fortunate enough to be born into better economic conditions (WAY better) than she was - through no virtue of my own. The comments above - not to get involved unless you are commited - so as not to break the Rusian girl's heart seems logical on the surface - but you can't marry every woman you have slept with. You cannot endeavor with full confidence that if she responds you will necessarily be ready to commit. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 4:02:28 AM   Its a two-way switch in any relationship - with any woman at any time. Either you, or she, can decide it is not for you and withdraw. Inevitably someone is going to get hurt, especially when any length of time or amount of effort has been extended. But you cannot avoid the pain on either side by committing to one another. I don't know how to break it off with mine right now. As I write this I was supposed to call her. But I don't have any words to say. Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:01:04 AM   Jet, have a drink or something - I notice the afterburners are switched off. "not always complimentary" maybe refers here I'm afraid, so grab a coffee, hell, spice it for my part. You won't do the visa-thing although you meant it when you promised it. You also have not told her that I think, so listen up. You were there, her turf, and she wound you around her finger. The latter could be explained by a wide variety of reasons I'll not go into, however I'll just list some: - her personality, your personality, your insecureness being on 'alien' turf, her superiority because operating at home, inevitable one-sided communication problems, and false impressions or promises. Of course only 1 will be wrong, a combo is likely, you judge. You 2 spent time there, and you now know what that is like, and, although you did enjoy her there you’re reluctant to continue because of your experience. Ever given it a thought that the roles will be swapped entirely when she’s on your turf? But bear with me, there’s more. Try the dead-honest approach for a change, and tell her in detail what you do and what you don’t like. Be assertive for a change (I hunch you’re not), and see what happens. No ‘conditional’ promises, zero emotional blackmail, just facts pertaining to past experiences and feelings. You just might be surprised what the result can be, and then also, a F-Visa is no proposal in any case. I believe there’s 90 days to make up both minds, a darn site better than a holiday there – you are ‘home’, and she will be in the environment she will have to live and acclimatize in. If you tell her ‘No’ or won’t do anything (don’t!) it’s like closing a door, and I’ll tell you now that key will be lost. Your risk? Financial only, nothing more if you ask me. First of all I think you can bear that, but also I think chances are the outcome could be worthwhile. Maybe something to ponder, hey…. maybe you should go fishing also? Tight lines…. :))) jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:12:18 AM   Thanks for the comment Thunder. the big problem with a K-1 visa at this time is that it would muck up my plans for the other Moldovan - the one I was intially attracted to but that this one would not allow me to see. My intent is to see her as soons as possible. And the time spent doing a K-1 with the other would prevent that. I may not be as assertive as I should be - I admit to that fault. But I know i will have to be. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:32:20 AM   "Ever given it a thought that the roles will be swapped entirely when she’s on your turf?" They wont be completely swapped TD, this gril of Jets knows English well, certainly enough to start a life for herself in the USonce she has done the K1 married him and got her green card, and from most of what I know about this situation, thats All she wants, once she has the right to stay and to work, I strongly suspect Jet would be back here looking for a new lady :o//. Jet, Dont muck up the chance with D for chasing an almost certain disaster with O, I really feel D at least deserves the chance to talk to you properly and spend time alone with you too, before you choose eother over either. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:36:28 AM   But thats just my humble opinion based on the information I have, from the trust you have placed in me by asking my opinions and sharing your concerns. Of course you Must do what You believe is best for You, and No-one else. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:48:22 AM   Tim makes a very valid point. The girl speaks English better than necessary to become an interpreter. And if the roles really were reversed, literally, then she would feel just as uncomfortable here in the US with me as I did there with her - meaning that we would have no common (comfortable) ground. (Unless we picked up stakes and moved to say...Egypt - where we would both be equally out of place). One thing I did do before I left. I took her into an internet cafe and showed her how email worked. I also helped her get her first email address through Yahoo. With the pictures that i have of her I might just help her advertise - she is not right for me - but perhaps she is right for someone (certainly not anyone reading this forum - you will all be biased now of course). There are options. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:53:03 AM   "certainly not anyone reading this forum - you will all be biased now of course" Biased ? Naaa !!!forewarned mate ;o)) TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:53:50 AM   You still on Moldova time jet ? Its a bit early for you to be around on a Sunday mate ;o)) TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 6:55:52 AM   Just had a thought, as she is so good at English, and many things you have said make it seem her only real goal is to get out of there and to the US or UK, rather than to find her true love or a good husband, then why not see if she can get out on her English skills, and become an iterpretor for a US or UK business dealing with the FSU ? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 7:07:44 AM   Tim - one funny (relatively speaking) moment came when we went to the US Embassy. I told her that legally, of course, the US Embassy is considered to be US territory - so it would be nice to set foot back on US soil (if only tecnically) and to speak American English (if only for a moment). On three visits to the embassy we encountered four embassy employees all of whom were Moldovan and all of whom spoke English MUCH worse than she did (she had to translate for me even there). Her eyes lit up as she considered the possibility that maybe she could work as an interpreter there. I don't want to marry her - but i would like to help her improve her situation. She does possess a very valuable skill. She is not JUST beautiful. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 7:10:31 AM   Oh and Tim - I can't sleep. Got to drive to a distant city shortly. My "God Daughter" is being confirmed today - so I'm up already. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 7:26:45 AM   Then it looks as if you can be of best help to her by pushing her toward an interpretors job mate, eithere there or in the US/UK. Ahhh, well have a good drive and a great day :o) easyforyou Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 2:25:09 PM   I'm looking for an attractive 35 to 45 russian women you is smart, witty naturally beautiful with or without makeup also someone who enjoys life to the fullist compassonate, caring and very easy going not wild. Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2004 2:37:56 PM   Well,......where did you see her last? Russian brides > Main Forum > second thoughts
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