I have heard and read time and time again from women who fantasize about Las Vegas,Disneyland,and many other incredible attractions in the U.S. It is no different than girls I grew up with on the ranch. Maybe you do not wish to live in America--but if you ever visit,go to a natural treasure such as the Grand Canyon,Mt.Rushmore,Yosemite,etc.etc. You will see and hear international people who obviously think there is something more here to be in love with than american men. Much of the world may resent America as a political power,but the floodgate of immigrants proves that this country is still a people magnet. As I have written before,and for you ladies,this country does not consist of only Americans,so it is really not fair to be so judgemental. It would be like me saying that all European women do not shave their armpits,or that all women from Lugansk are scammers. People here enjoy individual freedoms,and some of these rights are taken for granted. Some people do not know repression,and have never experienced it. So,there are loudmouths. This country throws away enough food daily to feed millions of people. So,you can understand the sloth,obesity,and apathetic attitude toward the simple blessing we call food. I can`t tell you how many times I have heard the description of food-"this is good shit". Also--get used to "laziness" in the non-physical working respect,because in the superinformation age,there is IT marketing,which frees a person from the slavery/drudgery/limited wages of having to work for the "man". This is an international toy which is relatively new. And I am certain there are lazy commodities brokers there in your own hometown. Because the roles of the sexes have changed so much,there are men who sincerely want to "get back to the garden",and live simple,healthy lives with a woman who is not an energy sucking vampire,a slut,or a gold digger. These men--and I am certain that some of them habitate this forum,are sincere and determined to gain this lifestyle. Russia and Ukraine are not the exclusive choice for a mate- seeking- man. I believe Chinese women,and their reputation for honesty ( not to mention the population ) make them the world`s first choice. Obviously,many men are not seeking an asian mate. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong,or if you just want to debate or say hello. I am not a dogmatic narrow-minder. Always enjoy this forum,I think I got my 30 bucks worth this month!!
America. But what does it really means for woman. Grand Canyon sounds good. But do you realize that woman will not have right to work for several months and then it will be very hard for her to find a decent job. She will be poisoned in 4 walls of the house in everyday life.
Do you realize how difficult for woman to live here. You will be the only important person near her. If something will go a little wrong it will be a small trouble for you and disaster for her.
All her life and often life of her kid will depend on you. Do you know someone who wants to be dependend?
Do you understand what a huge responsibility you are going to take?
A friend of mine moved to the US with his wife, him having a job-offer. She was not allowed to work there for 3 years, and this, she really wanting to do the work she studied for, almost proved to be the block their move stumbled on.
Quite recently she got her card and permission to work, and now that she's working they enjoy it a lot more, and are quite likely to stay there. Of course an added advantage is a bit higher income between them also, but the fact that she's not forcibly homebound makes the world of difference. Oh no, they don't have kids yet.
This fact maybe worth considering for you Yankees busy with plans to import a wife?
Your concerns are very valid I see your point of view. I can only speak for myself.
My future FSU wife can look forward to having many friends here that speak Russian.
We will be having dinner with them regularly.
She will get to go back to Russia as often as I can possibly manage it.
Any problem she has will be my problem.
The dependency will depend on her.
It is neccesary to integrate, I will help as much as I can.
She is going to be very, very busy from day 1. School will come immediately, English language school every day.
The dependancy thing will only last a short while.
She should enjoy it while she can.
The little girl will go to school immediately.
I live in South Florida. We have a swimming pool, beaches many shops and malls.
There are a hundred of fun things to do while she waits for the imigration smoke to clear.
We will have lunch together every day.
I live close to where I work.
She will want to call Russia and write letters, I have a super computer with high speed internet access.
In the case of Marina she has already driven in the USA in Chicago, so she can borrow my car and do what she wants in the daytime.
Lastly I know that she will want to help around the house, in fact in my case I am absolutely certain of it. There will be cooking to be done and all the usual household chores. She is not like my previous wife she will want to to these things.
Lastly but not least. I am very glad to say that she already told me that she wants to work as soon as possible so she can contribute to the family. My previous wife never thought of family it was always herself she was working for.
I rest my case.
Bagira the Grand Canyon is nice but it is the love and warmth that a man can provide that is important. Over and above this I agree with yours and Annikas staement that the world is not breaking down the doors to get into America. It is an angle of American life that gets talked about a lot and creates an impression. Immigration takes place everywhere. Both illegal and legal. My friend Sergey told me that there is quite a big illegal immigration problem into Ukraine. Pakistanis and Indians are forever slipping into England. Turks into germany. Morrocans into Spain. Even Indonesians into Malaysia. there is a huge illegal immigration problem with people sneaking into South Africa. This immigration thing isn't unique to the states. It just seems that the USA is alone in this and everyone is beating the doors down.
I am British and an American citizen. I don't particularly want to uproot but if I have to I will and I will go back to Europe. If it means I can spend the rest of my life with a woman, a real woman, that I love I will leave. This is more important. I have enough that I could restart somewhere else.
Sometimes Bagira I don't think that you realise that this is a two way street. there are very many very good American men. They have suffered at the hands of an unjust judicial system for many years. They have been beaten down by the skewed western system. Now they look to FSU for a fresh start. They will turn their lives upside down to accomodate a good woman. It is not all divorce and hostility. You have been speaking to the wrong people and have experienced some incorrect one sided arguments. There are good men here and Britain (with the possible exception of Martin) and germany and Scandinavia and Australia and and and.....
Come out from under the black cloud Bagira. Jump in the water is fine.
I immigrated to the USA in 1992, my marriage status brought me the right to work immediately, instantly. I had my temporary social security card in less than a week. I still have it it is stamped subject to INS approval. That meant that the employer had to make a phone call. No big deal. Once I went for my second interview 2 years later another card was issued that was free and clear. Few years after that I put in for citizenship. We mustn't make more of this than it really is. Anything worth anything is worth fighting for.
There must have been some problem in the case of your friend. If everything goes well for me I anticipate no more than a 3 month wait, at most, probably less. Believe it or not the immigration authorities fully realise that people want, nay need to work immediately. I speak from experience. They will cooperate, trust me.
Great post Izi. I sense certain nobility about you.Nothing worth having is not worth working for. I realize immense cultural,sociological troubles may,and probably will challenge two multi-cultural lovebirds` everyday existence in this country. At least for the first year or two. This social proposition is not without it`s setbacks and adversities--like every couple I have ever seen experience. What I have learned also is that it is not for the faint hearted or weak willed people to make this adjustment to their existence.I have as an advantage,the independence of my own work,and would bend my life in half so that she would not be alone-even if it meant she would agree to accompany me in my work. I think it helps a woman who comes here to be sponsored by a man who will also agree to enroll her into a community college or university. She may be interested in studies to broaden her educational interest. She may want to learn better English skills,and work as an interpreter or language teacher.Having activity is so important to any relationship. It is also important I think,to have back up skills,and be diverse in a competetive world. Again,people are individuals,and each has his own aura-zone of comfort.For some-this zone may be thin. What I will to do is struggle and fail in something I believe in,rather than fail at some endeavor I really had no heart to struggle for. And that is why I am here--picking the brains of this forum for further reference. Thank you all for your honesty and sincerity
You know, I won't protect anybody here and won't remind about an old-fashioned thing "love" as the reason for getting married:))))But I would say one thing about Ukrainian girls, not all of them follows the idea "man is a head, wife is a neck" (IMHO a disgusting one), I would rather say that they tend to partnership, but when they don't meet this partnership in life, they feel sad and may turn to the behavior of a "man is a head, wife is a neck".
And when I'm told that poor girl will be prisoned in 4 walls...I want to laugh!! if she stays at home doing nothing, then this is what she wants! The one who really wants to work will find the way to work, afterall it is possible to work through Internet...why not to use this opportunity? Or why not to go to courses, communicate with people, and not to sit in 4 walls. The one who sits in 4 walls, wants nothing, but only to sit in 4 walls!! This is my IMHO:)
I think anyone that is seriously looking for a wife from a foreign
country has taken the employment idea into consideration. It is all part of the package.
Ptichka you are very correct. If you want to be imprisoned that is what you will be. There are many opportunities to work if she wants. I have a job, plus I have a business I have started up that she can be
involved in, plus this gives her an opportunity to get comfortable with the culture and language without the hassle of punching a time clock or required working hours. Her transition to the states should be made as smooth as possible. And the freedom to do what she chooses at her own pace.
Yes Ptichka my dear, what is wrong with marrying for love?
nasfan6, there is nothing wrong with getting married for love, in fact I think that it is the only reason for getting married. But in the list that Bagira's friend made, there wasn't a single word about love, so I decided to remind about this most important reason in a funny way...well I guess I'm not that good in making jokes...:)))))
Ptichka I knew you were joking, I was being a little sarcastic about Bagira's post.
My dear Ptichka I will be in Kiev on Friday and I just want to thank you for all the help you have given me over the last few months! You are a great assest here and I hope that our friendship will last for many years. Thank you and Godspeed to you and your Family