yes, aussieman41 , for everybody the word "Love" means different things. It's a pity fo you it means nothing more. What, only 10 minutes for all your life? ))
Dunromin wasn't sure at all, neither was his now wife, but they like a gamble you see. Dive in at the deep end & see if you can swim, you'll get my drift.
Mind you though, have you ever met anyone who was, I mean 100% sure????
You've been married perhaps?
If so - see?
;-)
It was a joke Julia, about the 10 minute between the sheets thing about love, I only posted that to flame...I would not go to the FSU just to have 10 minutes between the sheets, thats ridiculous.
I had a 12 year marriage with 3 kids to a foreign girl and it ended bitterly because she betrayed my love and slept with other men too many times and ALL THE LOVE IS SO EASILY FORGOTTEN and in the past 7 years me and the ex do nothing but fight over the kids..one time lovers turned enemies..thats what love can do.
My view on love and the trustworthiness of women is very tainted,Julia...I could never 100% trust another woman with my heart because I was so hurt and the divorce was such a mess and there are lots of problems with my teenage kids and the family situation is unstable.
I will not allow myself to become emotionally dependant on a woman for companionship and expose my heart, nothing lasts forever..I have had 2 relatiosnhips since my divorce..I am still trying to analyse if there is somethign wrong with me and the choices of women I pick?
"I will not allow myself to become emotionally dependant on a woman for companionship and expose my heart, nothing lasts forever..I have had 2 relatiosnhips since my divorce..I am still trying to analyse if there is somethign wrong with me and the choices of women I pick?"
Hence...that is why aussieman has his 10 min love quickies.............
I will never go to a romance social, Danny, my last 2 relationships after divorce were meet via 1. RSVP a large popular Australian dating and meeting site, 2. icq CHAT to a local girl
Never used a romance social or speed dating...I actually have meet local girls on the internet but I did not want to marry those two, they were fun up to a point but not right to make a lifetime with, they had annoying habits..one did not want to keep her house clean and was messy and was also paranoid and I got tired of cleaning her house because I could not stand the mess, the 2 or 3 days worth of dirty dishes on the sink and other accumulated crud,I got sick of it ( cleaning out her fridge was fun, it was guess the organism growing on the off food in their ) it was pitiful but I could not change her, the other had teenage kids and was single mother and divorced and there were problems and she was addicted to Ebay and spent money on rubbish there and racked up $5000 credit card debt from ebay purchases in less than 2 months and could not afford to pay it and I ahd enough of all the bullshit and I said goodbye for the both of us! ( I had already once helped her to find a loan provider and consolidate her old loans into one loan, then she went and got an Amex card and racked up all that debt and my hair nearly fell out when I found out!)
You can meet some real fruits out there, apparently some of the Ukrainian girls are emotional fruit cakes ( now wonder the men in Ukr are driven to the drink ) and some Russian girls are as cold emotionally as the steel on a Russian tank..meeting on the internet in all countries is a gamble and shot in the dark if you can get the "right girl"..just because they have a vagina, they are not necessarily feminine, some are real messy slobs and have no sense of house pride or cleanliness and live like pigs and I can't stand that and some just have emotional hang ups and are paranoid about men or treat them like shit because thats how they were treated and they don't know any better, its just instinctive behaviour and some girls also don't know when to shut up like my ex-wife!
Its a jungle out there..I don;t think there is such a thing as a perfect woman as there is no such thing as the perfect man but nobody wants to live with a slob ( unless they are a slob themselves ) or someone who has an emotional disorder and behaves like a bipolar fruit cake!
I would not recommend a Romance Social for you either. First off - you have to actually go there. Not just dream about going to Ukraine. Second you have to look appealing. Since you are meeting these girls face to face - you have to look attractive. I suspect that you are a keyboard romeo who does best when he can hide behind a computer and that doesn't work for Romance Socials.
Aussieman,
You are right, there is no perfect woman. And I am sure you don't need a perfect one. You know sometimes it's so cool when your partner can do something silly. Something that doesn't seriously annoy you, but something that you can enjoy. Being perfect is boring. When you see some flaws in your partner, you know he/she is alive, is a real personality.
Everything perfect looks artificial.
I don't know... Maybe you should try to change your attitude instead of changing other people? (and other people also =) a little).
As for russian women, you say they are so cold. Well, our temperature is as high as our life can warm it up.
My ex-wife is so cold too, Julia..thats what love turned sour can do..she reacts to me like she just spotted a piece of turd on the ground or she just sucked on a raw lemon!
I don't need to change my attitude..I ahve made some bad choices when it comes to girls and love in my life so I am more careful now.
I don't expect to find a perfect woman and I don't want one.
Jetmba, I don't hide behind a keyboard and be a keyboard romeo..I don't actively communicate with foreign girls for purpose of relationship or meeting, I am not active since last year and deleted all my agency profiles, I have family and financial problems this year..the financial has just been made o.k but the family ones with my kids are long term involving bitter fighting with the ex because she is fooking my kids lives..my 16 year old girl moved out of home because her mother is a bitch and my 14 year old son is coming off the rails too, producing shitty high school reports..I was not happy with his mid school year report but I am the non custodial father as the courts gave my ex sole custody and now she just looks after herself and does not give a fuc. about my kids so I don't have no control..when it all fooks up, I will just go and pick up the pieces and get my teenage kids out of the gutter because the ex does not give a fuck!
Did I also not mention my 13 year old daughter hates her mother too and thinks she's a shit too and her high school reports are not great either and they are all brainy kids..they do have brains but they don't choose to use it, too much family crap and warfare and friction going on because of my stubborn as a mule dumbass ex-wife that could not raise kids or understand them if her arse was on fire!
aussieman,
you simply had a bad experience. It can happen to anybody, but it is not the reason to give up your hope. I wish you a good luck with your family. Be strong and optimistic.
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger", right, aussie?
Julia_000: Anyone who is 100% confident their impending marriage will never fail is a fool. 70% failure rate in Russia and 50% in USA or Australia speaks to this very clearly. What you can be 100% confident in is your love for each other, nothing more.
Danny,I'm very surprised and glad that you have changed your attitude and start to respecting other people. It takes courage to tell the truth and your own story, because there are always people around who will ridicule you for it. I have also made fun at you because you were talking alot of bullshit and your advices were to make fun at other people and a direct attack on some members. I am happy that you want to stop the pissing contest and that I notice now that you are able to give good advices. So, hereby, I apologize for my rude behaviour towards you because I didn't know you better.
Julia,
You are right,perfect is boring,if a couple never quarrels and always have the same ideas,then it will feel as you are in love with yourself because the only person who can be most perfect to your needs is yourself. Two people who sometimes have different ideas and interests,it will create alot of new interests if they want to share and can adapt themselves to the new ideas and interests. Interests is something to be discovered and to be learned without feeling troublesome. It must feel natural.
Changing attitude can only help if the person who changes believes he/she was wrong, otherwise it would feel as a drag. A relationship can only work if both people are willing to do the efforts to make it work and to believe in each other. If one person never wants to change, sooner or later, it will end up with big quarrels and unhappy feelings.
Julia,
My partner is unsure because she believes that my mother will hate her. What can I do? I am sure my mother will not hate her, because when my mother can see that I am happy with my partner, how can my mother hate that person? Maybe she will not respect or like her at the beginning because she doesn't know her. But I am sure that when she begins to know her and can see that, that girl is able to make her son happy, I am sure that my mother will like her and eventually will respect her. Actually I was also afraid the first time I met her parents, but it worked out well maybe because they felt I respect them but also probably because they saw I am really in love with her daughter. I think every parents like their children to be happy and that they will meet their true love and the parents will worry whether his/her partner is the right person for their child, so it takes time and patience to allow them to get to know one and other.
Nothing lasts forever, 12 years was a long time..you can't stop the woman from betraying you in a marriage in the same way you can't stop the man.
Its ancient history now.
There is no such thing as 100% confidence in a marriage..its like saying men and woman are 100% perfect..no perfect persons exist as no perfect marraiges exist either..divorce is as old as marriage itself..it comes part and parcel with it.
The outcomes vary..for some its not so bad but for some its shit...generally the financial outcome for a man in divorce is not very good, especially if he has kids..in Australia men loose 65 to 80% of his total assets in a divorce and 90% of cases the mother gets sole custody as the divorce laws of this country are warped and thats being nice about it!
Dunromin, we will see how you will feel about things when a woman takes you to the cleaners and you are left with little more than the clothes on your back...I started out life at 18 when I started work, only to have to start all over at 37 and pay 32% child support out of your income..then we will see who has the right to whinge and complain!
Correction, I misread your post dunromin, your right marriage is not 100% gaurantee it will never fail but neither is love either.
I paid ( and still continue ) to pay a high price for so called love and marriage!
as for being biopolar... well i am! but i've never been called a fruit cake! well... not yet anyway... :-)
olya once said that "if you don't love yourself then no-one else will do", very true!
as for being 100% perfect, well she certainly isn't! and if she was i'm sure i would be bored pretty soon! what i *am* 100% sure of is that i want to be with her and that we're pretty good together. coming here for a couple of months was the best decision i've made in ages!
can't say i really like all the pissing contests but it would be a lot more boring without you here danny!
Aussieman,
There are alot of people like you, they get divorced from a failed marriage, need to pay maintenance allowances for the children. But some are getting stronger and more happy after the divorce and they are getting married again, why? Because they learned from their mistakes and they did not give up faith and believe in themselves but mostly they want to be happy.
Yes, it is a high price you are paying for the lost love and marriage but you allowed the divorce to happen, why you cannot allow yourself to find happiness again? I don't agree that it is only your wife's fault when your marriage does not work especially you are together for years and have children. If you need to blame, blame yourself that your love is not strong enough or that somehow you both stopped loving or trusting each other. Does it mean that your ex-wife does not meet your expectations that every other women is the same? Surely you will be more careful to choose another partner, but somehow you need to trust 100 percent that other person, how would you feel if she only trusts you 80 or 90 percent? Without trust, there can never be a long term relationship.