calboy, your story is a very common one. I've had a very similar experience myself in the early days of my search. In my case the girl and her interpreter completely took me to cleaners charging me (what I now know to be) fake expense claims for flights to meet me in kiev - they lived in kiev all along. Of course the disappointment of meeting a girl who you though liked you but in reality couldn't care less is worse than the money aspect.
Callboy, you are stupid to think that you should buy a wife and Ukraine is a good place for that. Chernigov is as developped as Canada and all you expect to find in Canada you will find in Chernigov, this includes security and people that speack french, english and russian. I am French and owned a software development studio in Chernigov. There is also a huge Canadian software company there. You are under developed so better go to some poor country in Africa or Asia to find your slave wife.
Have to say I didnt read the website originally but really the guy is hopelessly naive. I mean buying a wedding ring for the girl on the second day of meeting !!. Also if it takes you more than a an hour to work out if a girl genuinely likes you then you need some more dating practice at home before setting foot in the FSU.
Go to this guy's website at "ualadyscam.com " to read the whole story. Its quite funny. The funny part though is HIM. Not in any way what she did.
THIS is an example of a guy truly trying to BUY a wife.
He wrote her letters for 6 months - and then showed up with the intent of making the whole marriage a reality in a week or two.
He brought her a white leather jacket and a few expensive (but not too expensive he says) gifts for her fanily and thought the deal was done. After 4 hours total on the second day - and not even speaking the same language - he already bought her a wedding ring. And he was dissapointed that she had the gall to reject his moves on her as his bought and paid for wife.
Turns out he later discovered she barely knew who he was. The agency had been writing the letters for her and she wasn't into him at all.
This is priceless.
This guy seems to think getting a wife is like buying a car - you make the deal with the company and go pick her up.
Not to be concentrating too much on race here - but it should be mentioned as the FSU is not as "politically correct" as the US likes to think it is. And it DOES make a difference man is of a different race than the girl.
The guy in question here is of Asian descent. Again, he writes to the nonEnglish speaking girl through an interpreter (turns out the interpreter was actually the final destination for his letters and not the lady in question) and expects that after 6 months when he finally shows up for a visit the family will embrace him at a champaign dinner held in honor of the new "couple".
The entire experience upsets him so much that he pays extra to leave Ukraine as fast as possible.
This is too funny to believe.
And it reminds me of the fact that my Ukrainian lady had been listed with an agency for months before I met her - yet had never received any indication that any man had any interest in her. (Agency had never contacted her that any guys had shown interest.) When she inquired about this out of curiosity (after all she is quite beautiful) she was told that her information HAD in fact been sold quite a few times and that the agency WAS in fact in correspondence with a few guys for her! She was told that if any of the guys actually ever showed up to meet her - she would be informed so that she could decide to meet them or not to.
In other words a man could very well have corresponded with her for 6 months and considered himself engaged to her (like this clown did to his lady) with he having ANY KNOWLEDGE OF HIM.
And similarly he could show up with a whitel leather jacket in hand and the intent of buying her a wedding ring - while she would not have clue as to who he was!
THIS is the potential problem of wrting a letter through an agency. And its NOT a problem of Romance Social where at least the lady you meet and start making the aquaintance of, has some clue that you actually EXIST!
What can you do, Jetmba? These women want marriage as they state in their profiles. Waiting for several months to a year is costly and takes patience.
I tried to ask my girl to marry me after a week. She would not let me. Now, it's getting close to a year. I've been talking to her and writing to her on the internet. I stumbled into the proper procedure. At least I hope so.
I don't think this is funny at all. He needs education, not to be laughed at. That's what these forums are for.
At one of those pay-per-letter places (that I have since wisely left behind completely), at one point I asked for and received a "postal address" from a woman I had exchanged a couple of letters with..... I'm still quite interested in her, I'm just not going to pay another dime to send/receive letters there, and be told we can't exchange phone numbers if I ask for it (forbidden by the website, not the woman! She wrote that she wanted to give it, but isn't allowed to, which is true according to their policy). I'm not going to pay the $40 to have a phone call so she can give it to me then (which IS allowed, apparently).
If I write a postal letter, have it translated locally (there's a large Russian/FSU community here, so I can find that service very inexpensively) and mail it off, is it going directly to that lady do you think?
I google-mapped the address and it does appear to be residential. I can't 100% assume that is the case though. What looks like flats, could actually be office buildings (or a "home office agency") for all I know. ;D
But if I mail off a nice letter (already translated), enclose a few photos, maybe a nice little tchotchke like a local souvenir (hey, I'm next door to Hollywood! :) ... is it worth the effort do you think? Do you suppose it will come as a complete surprise to her? "Who is this guy?!?"
I would give a little background, give my contact info (the stuff that's "restricted" on the PPL sites), and ask for hers... would let her know she can write in her own language, I'll translate on this end, etc. I'm patient enough to wait for a letter round-trip...
Do you think I could even expect a reply?
Once I have a phone number I can call directly, I can Skype-call anytime for next to nothing, and if it's a conversation that needs an interpreter, bring the laptop over to the interpreter's place and go on speaker...
It seems like there are plenty of creative ways to affordably lay the groundwork... :)
It's just a matter of having the essentials in place.... helps to know that she's actually heard my name and seen a photo of me!
The story you told there, Jet... that's heinous!! I intend to avoid that kind of scenario at all cost...
RB, I'm starting to wonder if jetmba is an undercover AFA worker. He's always pushing the socials and he's been on them since 2003.
Surely any half decent man would be off that scene by now unless.................???
;)))
This from the guy who looked me up on a Romance Website.
BeenGay is spurned by my lack of response to his advances and now he goes on the attack.
By the way is your Moldovan "wife" actually..... a husband?
THAT would explain his preference for looking guys up. But not necessarily his lifetime of posting on a singles page. Unless he and his male "wife" have an open relationship.
RB education didn't help you. Your still sending money. Hoping you won't get ripped off again. If you ask a woman to marry you so quickly don't you think that puts a red flag up in her mind?
I'm still laughing at the hypocricy and the crying towel crowd and the misfits who post under different names.
"When you give a gift, you should not expect anything in return, especially marriage."
That is the education I am talking about. Of course there are red flags to that, Nasfan. The cure is to educate people, not to laugh at others who don't know as much as you.
RB some guys on here are so tight they wouldnt give 50c to a girl yet gladly pay a tip for a meal of $20-30 without batting an eye. Sending money is a judgement call and can tell you more about a person for a small expense and total loss than being a tight arse and spending all on a big trip just to get a brushoff.
Then again some here have spent riduculous amounts on fantasies. Its not the spending of the money but understanding what you will find out about that person from the spending. Some are yet to grasp the concept. Most respectable women would be embarrassed about being given more than token amounts of money without it being to reimburse some expense such as phone calls, english lesson, travel etc.
I have been to the Ternopoli branch and it is a scam. I met a girl there and the last day I was there she gave me her email address and told me not to write it in a letter to her to the agency because they will harass her. So yesterday I sent an sms to her and talked to her in a letter about it to the agency. Then I get this response from her-
do you have a chairman on shoulders? To me today from a morning rang from agenstva. Why did you write them about sms???????????? They interrogated me, that after sms... I asked you!!!!
ти ма ш голову на плечах? Мен сьогодн з самого ранку дзвонили з агенства. Нав що ти м написав про смс???????????? Вони допитували мене, що за смс... Я ж тебе просила!!!
I have the original email if anyone want to verify the headers of this email. I will sent in my complaint to them on Monday for fraud. After I will call me lawyer and see what i can do. They shouldn't have messed with me. If anyone is interested I will talk to them in detail about my trip also. I hope I can save some of you the heartache that i have gone though.
craigsutton wrote:
...RB, I'm starting to wonder if jetmba is an undercover AFA worker. He's always pushing the socials and he's been on them since 2003....
So by your logic, if you're a proponent of letter writing then you must be an "undercover worker" of fiance.com?
Come on, jetmba is merely explaining a scenario that works for him and is I'm sure is only a part of his overall strategy in fiding a bride.
Isn't the sharing of strategies, techiques, things-done-right, things-done-wrong all part of what forums are all about?
No one is forcing you to go to a social. If you think it's (fill in the blank) and not for you then DON'T DO IT!
This forum is a tool that you can chose to use as you see fit. How many guys would be falling for the "My mother is sick and needs $1000 for an operation" or the "I need $1200 for a visa to visit you in your country" scam without the others who fell victim to these scams detailing it here?
On the hand, maybe some of us can't be helped. We see scams where there may be none or go against conventional advice.
I have been on two romance tours and I enjoyed both of them. I felt they were a great way to get your feet wet (so to speak). In fact at the first social I met a wonderful Russian woman that I eventually married but unfortunately it ended in divorce. These things (romance socials) do work but they are like all forms of meeting women... they are full of uncertainly... some women are good and some are bad. I now have progressed beyond the socials and choose one or two women to visit when I travel to Europe.