She did not want another child. I would have been happy to have another, I love children. I am not taking an airplane to try to find her. Why look. What would I do if I did find her. She ran away I just hope she will someday find happiness.
Raging bull Ins is not going to deport anyone unless they have 30 or more at a time. There are elligal alians everywhere mostly spanish but Ukrainians and Russians too.
She will have been issued a 2 year conditional green card. She will have a heck of a time lifting those conditions since for that interview she will have to show evidence of a continuing marriage.
And while she's still married to Oz, she can not get remarried to another USC.
If she was to become divorced and then remarry another USC, then she could lift her conditions but will have a lot of explaining at the next interview.
Don't know about the other forums and yes something happened to her when she went back to Ukraine. Sorry to hear of this.
And Beems sorry the trip didn't pan out but maybe it did. You'll get over this person and you will just have to keep searching.
And RB, it sounds like you are getting d##ked around.
Oz, maybe in near future she will realize what she is missing and attempt to come back. I know you are rational and take time with your decisions so maybe there is hope. You know your wife better than anyone here although at the moment you are as puzzeled as much as anyone. Time will tell, it always does!!!!
Thanks baron, I know things happen for a reason. I take things one day at a time, so we'll see what comes next.
RB, maybe you should start your own thread about your phone problems, seem you are scattered all over different threads. That way you can see the same story from many guys here that you are being jerked around and you just defend her at every stop, sorry, just my view. This girl of yours is running around all over eastern europe and you have no idea where she is...... coming or going...and now you are wondering how did she end up in Italy??? Hint...maybe there is another guy involved???
Maybe you should send her a couple hundred more dollars so she can get back home, all she has to do is ask for it!!!!
Oh by the way, I did somehow call a taxi and in broken russian had them pick me up and take me to airport in Odessa.....only 35 hyv,I was proud of myself. I may try that again next in Kiev or Odessa.
Also, I had a late flight out of Odessa and stayed overnight at Borispol Hotel. No one really gave price in hyvnia before, I paid 550 hyv for a room which works out to $68 usd and it is important to have ukrainian money...I just barely had enough, dipped into my loose change bag for last couple hyvnias, didn't want to have to walk back to airport to change money, lady at hotel balked at taking US money.
Since I had a 5:30am flight, just got shuttle to terminal.
A couple years back I had a 6:45am flight and I was waiting at apt in kiev for taxi to come at 4:30am....still waiting at 4:50...still waiting at 5:05.....I was pissed, never like to rush when it comes to making my flights....son of 'gun' finally arrived at 5:10 and we took off, got to airport at 5:50 and waited in line at lufthansa desk till 6:20...barely made that flight. With the new setup in Kiev upstairs with x-ray machines and then through immigration, I don't think I would have made it.
beemer, it is all too easy for me to imagine the sinking feelings you had, during your time with the girlfriend. I am sure that finding out sooner is better than later. From the anguish that I was feeling in the middle of 2008, my take-home lesson is: when I hear the warning shot, I won't wait around for the next one that's aimed at my chest!
oz, you are one of the good guys on this forum, consistently positive and helpful. I feel stunned and sad to read your news. God knows you invested a lot of caring and love (leaving aside considerable money), and it seems that her departure came as a bolt out of the blue. I wonder what such a sad story means, to my own search.
The "common thread" here has been deliberate non-communication. Problems in relationships, and how to deal with them, seem to be a very complex subject. How many millions of pages have been published on this topic? But by the time I was born (1950s), there was a clear consensus among psychologists etc., that communication is key. Communication does not guarantee success, but lack of communication DOES guarantee failure. I am not lecturing anybody here! I write this to remind myself, and underline in my thinking, that this has to be the bedrock on which I must build a marriage.
I wish you two men well -- and indeed, all of the good-hearted men on this forum. oz, you will especially be in my prayers.
Beemer, I'll post where I want to post, and it is not up to you. If I feel it is relevant to this thread, I'll do it. Again, it is not up to you. You may have started this thread, but you don't it. Tell me where your expertise have led you. I already said that I have considered the possibilities. I will not run my life on your possibilities.
"She will have been issued a 2 year conditional green card. She will have a heck of a time lifting those conditions since for that interview she will have to show evidence of a continuing marriage."
But sadly there are certain provisions in the law that make it very easy for a woman granted a provisional Green Card to claim spousal abuse - and courts have shown a tendency to remove the 2 year marriage requirement.
I have heard of several Russians and Ukrainians who have been coached on this (making false claims of abuse) by people they meet in the Russian speaking community. Its seen as a way to gain citizenship without having to endure an unhappy marriage.
My sympathy is with you OZ and I DON'T think your situation is merely the result of a big age difference.
Beemer, you and other come after me for my story on this thread. Why didn't you tell Oz? Stay here Oz.
Many have gone after me for sending $200 for a passport. Yet, Beemer here spent probably thousands on a trip to Egypt. What the heck is the big difference? One, she needs. The other, once you've experienced it is gone. Beemer's girl will still have financial needs which he is unwilling to help with, but he took her to Egypt, and spent thousands.
I'll go out on a limb here and mention that I have helped my Moldovan lady renew her passport (she already had one). But if I recall correctly the cost was considerably less than $200. Maybe $80? Not sure. But that was some time ago.
WOW! The fear of god is in me. Or at least the fear of a Russian woman.
OZ - it is a shame. That is what makes me continue to wonder. Although everything is on the up-and-up there is still those feelings of, 'Will she bolt after a period of time?' Hearing stories like yours keeps me focused and alert to any hint of deviousness.
Beemer - dude, I have nothing to offer other than it sucks. I feel for you man!
Jetmba and all men -- A woman in any civilized country will chastise you for arriving ahead of hear even if it is only twenty feet. If you are going to be late, be late at the same time. Side by side. I would say the only valid reason to run ahead of her is to stop a cab or bus. Or if a bear is chasing you.
The news of beemer and oz is an eye opener. And I pray that I do not have to report such an event ever. But it is always a gamble. To put your trust in someone, regardless of where they are from, is always a gamble. It happened to me in America.
It wasn't for a bear or a bus - but I did manage to secure the last precious cup of chocolate pudding because I was fast on my feet? Does that count? SHe was upset that she hadn't gotten any the day before. And it was my nobility that caused be to surge ahead for her this time.
And simple chastising is one thing - but the silent treatment for 1 1/2 days? Its cruel.
Beemer
"...yes if people are in love you are correct but I never said anything about us being in love, that word is reserved for way down the road. That word is used waaaaay too much here."
I do agree with you about the love word being used way too much. I hate it being said to me when I am not seeing what I expect to go with it.
The other side of the coin is one needs to be careful not to undershoot.
Oz, sorry to hear about you situation. Unfortunately being a good guy does not always guarantee success. All the best.
"But sadly there are certain provisions in the law that make it very easy for a woman granted a provisional Green Card to claim spousal abuse -"
Well, it's not that easy. It is easy if they have a police report of abuse, etc etc. If they do not have this hard evidence, it is now so easy.
"and courts have shown a tendency to remove the 2 year marriage requirement."
There is no such requirement. You may be thinking about the 3 years of marriage prior to being able to naturalize or the 5 year not married requirement for naturalization.
"I have heard of several Russians and Ukrainians who have been coached on this (making false claims of abuse) by people they meet in the Russian speaking community. Its seen as a way to gain citizenship without having to endure an unhappy marriage."
Yes there have been some cases, but, these may be the only you hear about and not the thousands of other relationships that went OK.
Baron, are you saying that there is no two years of provisional green card before the issuance of a permanent green card? An immigration lawyer told me that. If she is still married after the two years, she would be granted a permanent green card. I couldn't say two years before because of my memory, but I believe that's what she said.
Yes her and her son's green cards was issued for 2 years. It is called a conditional permanent resident card and has an expiration date on it.
Thanks guys for all of the support. And you are right Beemer. It would be nice to understand all of this and hear her side of this. Without that all that can be done is in the imagination and many times that is not accurate.
"Beemer, I'll post where I want to post, and it is not up to you. If I feel it is relevant to this thread, I'll do it. Again, it is not up to you. You may have started this thread, but you don't it. Tell me where your expertise have led you. I already said that I have considered the possibilities. I will not run my life on your possibilities."
"Beemer, you and other come after me for my story on this thread. Why didn't you tell Oz? Stay here Oz.
Why so defensive RB??? You can post where ever you want RB, I figured maybe if you read all the posts from others here you can see the commonality in replies to your so called problems.
AS far as Oz, we were speaking of the lack of communication we had between the women( read that again) RB, you keep asking the same question over and over...does she answer....does she not, it rings this way one time another way next time.
I also did pay for girls renewal for passport because we were going to egypt and yes we spent a couple thousand for trip...difference between you and me is part of that money was spent on my benefit also along with having the girl with me and spending time TOGETHER. I don't call sending a girl money for a passport so she can go where ever she wants now. I am sure when your gf needs some more money she will definately be ringing you.
Not to pick on you RB but where does a girls 'financial needs' play into this?
Remember, these girls were 'making ends meet' before you met, why do they all of a sudden need help?
There is a point when there can be some gratitude like a big holiday or birthday but just to send gifts/money for no reason.....I do think the genuine girls would frown upon needing help.
Baron, are you saying that there is no two years of provisional green card before the issuance of a permanent green card? An immigration lawyer told me that. If she is still married after the two years, she would be granted a permanent green card. I couldn't say two years before because of my memory, but I believe that's what she said.
You are correct in the above statements but incorrect in your previous post. Yes they are given a 2 year conditional green card and then they can petition for the 10 yr green card.
You mentioned about a 2 year marriage condition. That is something totally different than the green card validity. I understand that you mis-typed but if not, I corrected you.
People post things all the time, about different things on any thread. My post was not far off. I am the only one being told not to post, just because I don't fit your point of view. If it is your view that I can post anything I want, then why mention that I shouldn't?
Don't worry about picking on me. Worry about getting picked on. You want to marry, this woman, right? Why should you not be concerned with everything about her, including her financial needs? Only if it concerns you? Miscommunication? Isn't that what my subject is about? I might have repeated myself, but it was the same situation a week later.
I too don't give money for no reason, and believe there is a point. But, if I can make it a little easier for her sometimes, I will, whether or not it benefits me. You spend your money the way you want to, I spend the way I want to. If my girl needs money, it would be great if she calls on me first not ... fill in the blank.
To be married, it means you and your mate are one, is it not? If she had several thousand on her, what do you think she would do with it? I guarantee you it is not a trip to Egypt. Now, no matter what she said, think about why she is resentful. When does the honeymoon begin, before or after the marriage?