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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > A Little Suspicious: Author Post jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 9:36:17 AM   I had a great time with the two Moldovan women I met in Odessa last year. And I have already mentioned that I called many times until their numbers were suddenly chnaged due to an expansion of the Moldovan phone system. But there are several issues I have grown suspicious of that I would like to throw out to the forum for comments. First - its always been my stance that, withing limits, helping out a little after you've gotten to know them in person is okay. Well one is asking for money now everytime I talk to her. Keeping in mind that Moldova is the poorest country in Europe and she lives alone with her mother who is retired (father passed away) I have sent money for an electric heater, a winter coat, a television (for her birthday). Altogether I have sent around $500. Now she is asking for an additional $100 becasue she claims to have no electricity - the meter is broken and she must pay to have it fixed. Does this seem rational to anyone out there? Also she lives in a two room flat with her mother. No television (until she purchases it when the electricity is restored). Just a radio. Yet no matter when I call day or night she is always there. (Of course I never call her in the middle of the night - but she is there in early morning or late evening and anything in between. She never seems to leave - for ANYTHING.) Does this seem to make any sense to anyone? It seems that some of us at this forum have a knee-jerk reaction anytime the word "money" is said and immediately think "scam". So don't be too quick to go there. But I welcome thoughts on the matter. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 9:49:17 AM   > Well one is asking for money now everytime I talk to her. I would consider myself being used. > Now she is asking for an additional $100 becasue she claims to have no electricity > Yet no matter when I call day or night she is always there Do phones work without electricity ? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 9:58:11 AM   Actually phones do work without electricity. A tiny current is provided by the telephone company. But what about lights? Occurs to me that she must be sitting in the dark a lot. And she says that she has hled of in buying the television ($200) until the electricity is restored which will cost $100 (and I haven't given her yet). Seems to me that your first priority would be use $100 of the money she has for a TV to get the power on - rather than to wait for me. Whole thing is beginning to smell very badly. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 10:01:14 AM   If something needs paying for, I like to see receipts or be billed the item. Handing over cash is always open to abuse whether it actually occurs or not. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 10:02:23 AM   yes - if she already has the money for the TV. The priority is to get the electricity running than sit in the cold and dark. Sounds very dodgy. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 10:05:14 AM   Should also mention that her mother is elderly and does not work. I do not know if there is a pention for her or not. I know my girl used to go to disco several nights a week - though she claims not to anymore (and as I said is always there when I call even at night). She works occasionally at an exposition hall showing off televisons or cars (she is quite attractive) and mentioned once meeting some guy to sell him space on a billboard. I know about advertising and culture in America. But nothing about what is commonplace in Moldova. Does anyone else know? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 10:18:57 AM   Thnks for the comments dma. They are always welcome. I know unemployment is rampant in Moldova and that the country is the number 1 source of exploited women (sex slaves ect.). Often there is a high level of desperation just for survival. Am I preventing that from happening here or am I being taken advantage of? dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 10:36:14 AM   Now I think I see the point you're making about her always being home. There seems to be an ever increasing amount of uncertainty and doubt where one's gut feeling is more often right than wrong. I am sure there are plenty more young women with less "risk". I would think with my head than heart and...run. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 6:03:01 PM   I met both girls together. They traveled from Moldova together. One hooked up with me (the one refered to above) while the other hooked up with a friend I met on the trip. The four of us went to dinner and the disco together, before my male friend met someone else. At that point I inherited both girls (during the day anyway - only one at night). Since returning to Moldova they have barely spoken to each other. Seems there is some jealousy because one "found" someone and the other didn't. I keep in contact with both by phone and they both tend to trash each other now of course (typical female behavior). Trouble is I am crazy about both of these women - even though one I do not know nearly as well as the other. The one mentioned above, again lives with only her mother so it is unlikely that she would come to the US without mom. (Though she has expressed definite interest in a fiance visa). The one I don't know as well, lives with mom and daad and a brother and would have no problem coming to the US without relatives. She is also making a major play for me right now, calling and writing etc. which the first isn't doing. Again any suggestions are welcome. mrbill79 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 6:14:43 PM   Hi Jet, Having mom around could be a good thing. Homesickness is a real concern, not to mention having someone to help with the kid(s) would be a bonus. One way or another, relatives will be part of the package no matter which lady you decide upon. If you can put looks aside, which one appeals to you the most? Which one would be better in a difficult situation? Tough spot you are in having to decide between two keepers. Do you have the time and wherewithal for another trip? Maybe somwhere outside the FSU to see how they handle a place outside their comfort zones? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 6:27:08 PM   Actually I was kind of impressed by the ability of both to operate outside their comfort zones. Both were Moldovan, not Ukrainian, neither had ever even been to Ukraine before (but of course they spoke Russian as well as Moldovan). I was very impressed by the way each responded. The problem with bringing the mom over is that she speaks absolutely no English so she would be totally dependent on us. Not to mention the additional cost - I'm not a pauper, but I'm not rich either. Where I live right now is big enough for two - but certainly not big enough for three (I have a one-bedroom). While I anticipate moving soon if I bring either over anyway - bringing mom over would require me to move right away or get her her own living quarters - along with constant full time attention. Though I know this woman better of the two (and like her very much) this seems to present a much bigger burden. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 6:29:30 PM   Also this is the woman who has asked for money so often. The other has only asked for help once (the last time I talked with her). mrbill79 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 7:33:29 PM   The Ukraine is not vastly different from Moldova. I was thinking someplace where being able to speak Russian would not be an asset...Antalya or Istanbul/Stambul in Turkey, maybe Cyprus or Western Europe or the Caribbean. I will be taking my own lady to the Dominican Republic. First because it is one of my favorite places, and second because I want to see how she handles a foreign place/culture before bringing her here to the states. Homesickness is a huge concern of mine. Family plays a much larger role to most Russians than it does to many of us in the West. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 8:04:02 PM   I'm puzzled by why and how you managed to get two girls that you like together on the SAME date? That sounds like suicide to me and it's no wonder they trash each other. Who here would like to be sharing a threesome ? lol (daft question - I mean two guys and a girl on a date) You can't play one against the other and must decide between one or the other - quickly - or lose both. A non-English speaking elder seems like too much baggage given cramped conditions in a foreign country. If thats part of the agreement, then you have to ask yourself whether you could cope with the daily reality of that. I probably could not. No, I know I could not. The second one seems the better (less complicated) option putting less demands on you but then only you really know them both and only you can decide. With $200 cash in hand (unpaid TV) for the first one and no working electricity. I wouldn't even be thinking twice about it but then you actually KNOW them. I guess we're all looking for different things and have different criteria but I'd already be lacing up my running shoes :) jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 8:11:31 PM   What exactly is the advantage to taking her to the Dominican Republic as opposed to the US? I have heard the argument before that proof of meetings (ie pictures), which do not necessarily have to occur in the home country of either of the partners involved are sometimes gathered in some tropical country as opposed to a FSU country for cost reasons. Is that your reasoning? Or is it to just meet on equal footing for both members? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 8:23:02 PM   To dma: It just happened that way. Following Moldovas independence of 1991 - there was a civil war in that country (which few of us heard of) resulting in another government running the territory east of the Dniester River. This generally unrecognized country called Transnistria with its own laws and border control is not safe for a beautiful young Moldovan woman to travel through alone. So the woman I don't know as well, asked the one I do know very well, to accompany her. It was a six hour bus ride and once in Ukraine - they had to travel back together. That's how I ended up with them (the two most incredible women I've ever met) at the same time. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 8:38:24 PM   I forget about how difficult it must be for travel arrangements and the need to share for security is obviously a good reason. In that case, i understand but I definitely wouldn't do it here in the UK. Incredible as they both seem, neither appear to be without their problems and the first one seems the worse of the two based upon what you've written but likely your favourite although as you say she's making no play other than for your dollar$ which doesn't impress me much (looks aside, which is shallow anyway). I'd focus my effort on the second equally 'incedible' woman and make a judgement on the balance of everything that you know. There are of course, plenty of other women out there... :) good luck in whatever you do. Know what you want and get it. I wouldn't settle for anything less jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 8:53:05 PM   Thanks for the advice dma. You seem to have a good grasp of the situation. The first woman has a bit more of my heart. She stayed in my room for four nights altogether. As I've mentioned in another posting - midway through both girls rode the six hours back to Moldova. And then, the one I knew better, rode again the six hours, this time with her mom to meet me. Fortunately (or not..) her mom loved me and gavr me baby pictures etc. So I feel a greater attachment to this one and she knows it. But the other draws me more. And seems like much less trouble. I am to speak to both tonight and I intend to do a Fiance Visa application for one or the other (remember it doesn't commit me in any way). I certainly do not want to play one against the other so I may lay my cards on the table and see what happens. If all falls through I will go to Ukraine again this summer, where the women are absolutely stunning, and try again. mrbill79 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2004 9:20:10 PM   Jet, It would be much cheaper for me to go back to Russia to see her. Flights from Moscow to Puerto Plata are prohibitive. I would like to see how she reacts to a strange place. That, and I lived in the DR for two years and loved it. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2004 5:55:59 PM   jetmba, I don't know about money, that raises suspicions. I think I can help on the mom issue however. I faced similar problem when I was still dating my Yulichika after the second time we met in her home town, Kharkov, Ukraine. Her mom saw me and liked me and I liked very much both her dad and mom. Her mom, however, realized for the first time that this was serious and she would loose her only child possibly very soon. Mother and daughter were and still are very connected. Her mother was crying often and as a result each time I would call Yulia, the issue would come up and she would start crying. She never asked me to make arrangements to bring her parents here. However, she was hurting when she saw her mother crying, that was the problem. The mother didn't really want to separate from her daughter and there was even discussion between myself and Yulia about me moving to Ukraine (!) That was never my plan, but I played along. Later we decided that this was not a good idea, mom saw Yulia happy and not being able to live with me and got used to the idea. Now, Yulia has been in the USA for five months and communicates with mom over the phone 2-3 times a week and email as well. There are very cheap phone cards to call Russia, so if she likes to call even more often she knows she can do it. My Yulichika is about to become a green card holder in a few weeks and she is going back to Ukraine to see her parents at the end of April. Her parents are missing her and she is missing her parents, but there is no drama. The point I want to make to you is that when the drama was going on in January 2003 with both mom and Yulia crying, I made it very clear that mom is not coming here permanently for two reasons: (a) I would not be able to invite her mom to the USA because her mom is not my direct relative and Yulia would not be able to invite her mom because Yulia would not be a citizen until several years afetr she would land to this country. Furthermore, even when she becomes a citizen and she still wants to invite mom to USA permanently, she would be confronted with long lists of other immigrants who want to invite their relatives and there is an annual cap to this kind of visas. Currently, there is a 12 year long wait. What a long (a) now I realize I am still on (a). Anyway, (b) I would not like her parents to live with us just like I would not like my parents to live with us. (b) would not have to be mentioned because (a) is so compelling, however, I wanted to be plain honest with her. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck! Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > A Little Suspicious:
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