Good point FSU. 10 years ago or so I had a man working for me that had been chief of Police in a neighboring city. He told me that the statutes provided that if they were called for DV someone had to be arrested regardless of whether there was guilt or not. He also told me the logistics of it usually the man was arrested because the woman was needed in the home to take care of the children. Virtually no proof is needed to get a conviction only a sob story and maybe a few lies.
That is why I say I was lucky she did not make a call to 911 with these lies because then I would be fighting to stay off of the DV criminal hotline list. As it is a protection order is still serious and I will have to report that on some forms and it is still a black mark on a record that has never had more than traffic tickets on it.
A real tough one, Mr. Oz. Am I right to assume that even if and she changed her mind that she wanted to go back to you, she could not? You can't talk to each other. She already gone throug all of this.
Who suffers here more are the children. Unless she was widowed, her son had another father. Then, there was Mr. Oz. Now, he is set to have another. Three different father figures, three different personalities, three different morals.... Worst of all, whether he accepts it consciously or not, it will now be acceptable to change wives indiscriminately, perhaps even necesary.
Disclaimer: I am not a saint in describing all of this.
You are partially correct RB. The restraining order would prohibit us from seeing each other even if she changed her mind. It could be taken through another court process if she changed her mind and if the judge agreed to discontinue the restraining order then after that we could again talk to each other.
I know what is right but still half of me knows she is hurting. If she is living on welfare I know she smokes 200 dollars a month and I do not know what welfare pays but I am guessing in the neighborhood of 600 so that does not leave much to raise a son on. The other half of me is appalled that a human being that seemed so close at one time could be so cold and do such a thing.
I may be confused a little and do a lot of thinking but I still wake up happy and thoroughly enjoy every minute of every day. I even tease the police a little about my newly learned history of mental illness, violence to others, and the fact that I carry a gun or keep one near me at all times. I do not seem to be able to worry them any though. And I am happy because of all the friends I have including you guys and the people in my community and the good lord takes good care of me.
Oz, deeply pleased to read how good your spirits are in spite of this catastrophe -- and truly inspired as well. It is a great strength, to be able to rise above circumstances. This woman has tricked herself out of a man who committed himself to love and care for her and her son. I am confident that you deserve better.
And when I am tempted to moan about my small difficulties (I am embarrassed to say that this happens often), I shall remember the example of your Positive Mental Attitude.
I am off to church. I will say a prayer for you in silence, Mr Oz, as I already have with you as well as my adversaries. The good Lord is a good place to turn to in times like these.
I hope you don't mind me asking you questions. I have a nagging question. I see you as a religious man. You probably attend church regularly or even are active in church. My questions is did she join you in your worship?
Thanks for sharing your story, the same things happened to me 3 years ago. Luckily I was cleared of all abuse charges and am able to resume my life as normal. I think there is a problem with our government agencies when during the time she was applying to get her green card no one contacted me to see what my side of the story was. I do work at different schools in Pa. and a PFA would have made my work situation very difficult, fortunately the local court systems saw it for what it was a scam and dropped all charges. I am still amazed that no one from immigration ever contacted me. In the end I guess she got what she wanted and life goes on.
She would not go to my church with me. She did scold me for staying home with her at first because the kids were asking her son why I had not been coming after she arrived. She did attend the church my son is the youth minister at one time when he preached. She told me he could make a lot of money preaching in Ukraine although she could not understand him she could see the reaction of the people to him. She also liked the cake they served there.
When her father died we found an Orthodox church to do a service for him and had a later one scheduled for him. I called the priest and told him not to be surprised if no one showed up for the second. He told me he had seen nothing of her but I would hope she came and he was protecting her location because it seemed important to both her and her son.
I had to read the betwen the lines about the father, Mr. Oz. He died while she was on vacation in Ukraine?
What finally happened? You ended up going to church by yourself or staying home? Of course, your position on this is the only one that counts, Mr Oz, but I hope you get her back. If you do, I would hope you insist on bringing her to church.
Bull she went to a shelter in Columbus Ohio. Her ex-fiancee who supposedly died of a heart attack lived there but as I found out later he is still alive. I find it strange that no one from Immigration ever contacted me to hear my side of the story. I am recently divorced from her and haven't heard from her or her daughter in almost 3 years. The State police that I dealt with said this is not the first case like mine and it is probably not going to be the last, luckily everything worked out for me. I think getting married to a woman from the FSU is very risky because you never really know what their intentions are and once your married you can be obligated to support them for the next 10 years. I wish everyone the best and hopefully you find what you are looking for.
Did you have to reimburse for all of the social services she received under the 10 year sponsorship to bring her here or were you her sponsor dragonman.
If you read about the I 360 form as a battered woman she has the right to petition for permanent residence without your knowledge. So CRIS cannot notify you. I also just found out that as a battered woman (this just takes a restraining order to qualify) there is no waiting period after naturalization before she is allowed to bring her native family here.
The US government makes available over 3 billion dollars in grant money starting at 600,000 per state and going from there depending on population. This goes for training law enforcement including judges, housing and care, legal assistance for victims. I have read but have not found where to confirm that the feds feeling is there are 50% more men abusers than are being convicted and so part of the training is to make sure these abusers are convicted. How to accomplish this would be in the bench rules for the judges in each state. But she will not file in your state. On the surface this sounds like a good deal protecting abused women however fraudulent organizations run shelters, advertising on TV for victims legitimate and immigration fraud and possibly coerce these women into launching an attack on innocent men. These shelters are able to tap into this grant money and a few lies make very good profit. So again the immigrant women become cash cows for the shelters just as they were for the marriage agencies.
Thanks for asking that, Mr. Oz. I was about to ask him that, but he says that everything worked out for him. You must understandably be worried about that. It might comfort you to know if you already don't that the 10 years is cut short if she becomes a US citizen.
Also, I don't know if reimbursing the government for services is being practiced. Remember that government assistance is governed by the state and USCISa the federal. I know of a couple years ago who was on government assistance. They went to Mexico for the day and forgot to bring their passport or green cards. They were stopped at the border. USCIS or INS was called then investigated and found they were on government assistance. Their assistance was taken away. They re-applied a month later and got it back. The children of the couple did their Affidavit of Support. Not one of them got billed.
really im shocked of what happened to you, i m back to the forum after i was told by you know who that the worst had happeded to you.
no matter how much my words may hurt you now i would liek to say that you were so my fast in yr decision to bring her over to the USA. i knew it from the very day you met her, i could see it with my own eyes while i spent those days with u! it was so much evident that she was dishonest! i tried to say that to you , tried to make you see it, but you were blind... alas...
I do hope you will get out of that situation, and she will be punished! punished by a person or by god. as well as her son who u were so much kind to!!!
where are your laws, american guys????? that fair and impatient legislation of the USA????
if u native americans fuck up yr lives getting in trouble because of those bitches from Ukraine???
Who have more rights than you, and who know the weak point of yr legislation - sexual harrasment, violence and the like????
i dont want to say that they are all like that bitch Elena!
and i remeber that lady Cahlemr named Victoria. she was honest to you! maybe she wants to run away from Ukraine but not at any cost!
Guys not a single woman at the age of 30 will marry a guy of 50 y.o!!!!!!!!!!!! come to senses guys!
dont be blind! i know very few men of that age who look stunning! who a woman may have a passion to!
yeah a good and kind heart is very important but its not everything for marriage....
I will accept all of your words and I know that your heart is true. And I agree with you Victoria was a very nice lady. And do not overlook yourself. We knew our ages were too different and met only as friends but if I were 15 years younger there may not have been an Elena :-).