My best friend is divorcing now her American husband. She thinks that the reasons why American marry Russian woman are following:
1. They lived in Russia for several years and met nice girl (they did not have any opportunity to date American girls for many years).
2. They actually were looking for a boss. It is known that Ukrainian women attitude to family like this: Husband is a head, wife is a neck. Head will go to the only that directions where I (neck) want.
Ìóæ ãîëîâà æåíà øåÿ – êóäà õî÷ó òóäà âåð÷ó.
It does not matter that the girl would be 20 years younger. She will be the boss anyway or will try to be a boss.
3. They want to be a despot in the family and do know that no US woman will allow it.
4. They are looking for much younger very attractive girls who will not pay attention for them in US.
I have serious doubts about the long-term success of any marriage where one is 15+ years older than the other because the physical and mental energy is so drastically different and the two are in different developmental stages. I don’t understand the draw let alone the stick-with-it-ness (other than sexual or financial. Those marriages are an adventure. I'll stick with someone closer to my own age and we can grow old together and combine our collective wisdom.
Over several months of correspondence with quite a few ladies in their 30s, I found the wisest of them all is also the youngest at 27 (next month)
I do have my reservations about our age difference, hence my low expectation approach to this trip.
She is very well aware of it.
On the other hand, this age differences run common on both sides of her family...sucessfully, I migh add.
We'll see how it turns out...in the meantime, I'll be enjoying myself
and do my best not to take the whole thing overly serious.
A sense of humor should be rpeserved at all costs...:))
Well kiss a toad and call him a prince :).Just not 5 minutes ago I got an e-mail from a 26 year old.I believe in the 15 year rule as well. So I was quite shocked to have gotten a letter I was truthful when it asked me my birth date (age). Why then would she write me? I'm not exactly in her age group. I have grand children and she is slightly older than my oldest daughter.Kind of gives me the willies.I can see her now ummm... "Dad this is Sandman he's your age." Yeah that goes well.I wrote her back and let her know again in case she over looked that MINOR detail.Otherwise I took it seriously and answered her truthfully in all things.I am putting a large boulder of salt by my computer just in case.:)or at least a very very large grain.
LMAO Nor you crack me the hell up mate.....ummm......first I wouldn't want to send you anything I personally didn't approve of.....so let make sure she would be someone I would errrr want......I mean recommend yeah.......she sent me a pic of her that is not on this site that is just knock down jaw dropping gorgeous.The pic of her on here doesn't look so good but man the one she attached OMG!!!! If you open your window you can hear me howling at the Moon :)
Please tell me Ukrainian or Russian women aren't all bosses been there done that with U.S. women.Drives me nuts... focused yes... but boss drives me bonkers.I'm not one for a dictatorship anyways.Please tell me Bagira's friend isn't talking about most of the Russian women.
You would think that you always do what you want but actually you will do what she wants you to do. You will be happy and naive. They are not like US teenager girls who push like tank.
Oh heck--I gotta add my two cents worth. When I read Bagiras opening thread,my alarm bells went off. I really hate how people try to generalize or stereotype other people. ( Your friend, Bag,not you ) It reminds me of a black man I had met in Seattle who was the target for racial stereotyping. The cruel truth was that he was a Rhodesian native who knew nothing about Crips,Bloods,big wangers or the ebonics associated with black people. Does not matter where you are from-- Aussie,Brit,or American--whoever. Not ALL native men have long black hair and a teepee. Not all Aussie men say,"throw another shrimp on the barbie' Not all Germans like sauerkraut. Not all cowboys wear cowboy ( rider`s ) boots--many wear LaCrosse irrigation boots. To condemn all American men is to think they all have the same mama,or come from the same clan. The condemnation of American women is not necessarily accurate either----not as a whole. When are people going to realize what MLK said about the content of a person`s character? Bag--it is silly to think all people are the same--men included. Just as silly for all the anti-Americanists to think that we are all one big tribe. What makes the European/Americans of this country different is that most are separated from their ancestral culture and heritage. Not by choice,but from generational disintegration. Many men,myself included,have the memories of traditional American women. Most of them are older baby boomers by now. Like my mama. Most are dead-like my Swedish grandmother. These were women of a different time and place, who still adhered to basic womanly virtues. One thing that distinguishes this country from any other in the world is our diversity of people. America is the Motel 6 of the world--everybody comes here,and we leave the lights on. You cannot attach secular opinions on men here,because Ukraine men are here--Russian men also seek refuge here. Our larger cities commonly have Chinatown. Most have large Russian communities too. I get tired of people spouting off against American men. It is irritating to think that so much of this comes from people who live in sardine can countries where they live so cloistered together they have nothing better to do than make blanket statements about men ( like me for example) who they are completely ignorant of. I am not you--or you-or anybody else in this room. I may be similiar in some respects,but do not brand me one of the herd. There is a common misconception that American men are loud,brash,rude,vulgar,lazy,and uninformed about the rest of the world. This is not how I was raised,--it ain`t me,and it razzes me that people still try to pigeonhole MY behavior because I seek a caucasian woman who will have my mama`s values,and who will strengthen my sense of being with the merging of our two heritages,and add balance and strength to our family. I am American,but moreso I am Blaine. Also--I second Toad`s statement about age having nothing to do with wisdom and intelligence. I would like to think that a child of the 60s or 70s is more wizened,but I have seen too many of the X-generation who blew me away with their knowledge,and their heightened awareness of life. Some of them learned like ( again ) a different generation of people who had to go down the hard road and scrape their sore butts off the ground despite their injuries. Well, enough then. Best wishes to you all-good night
I have read that site some time and I got opinion that american man are often loud, lazy thinkers and lots of them are mama boys. They have lots of false ideas, what make them trouble later. One of them is they dont axept other nationalities opinion. All that Bagira told in her post is true. And its just rediculous to think all people want to move to live USA!!
I wonder why Russian women want to marry American men? Did you ask her what made her marry him in the first place? How long were they married? Was it a green card divorce or were they married more than 5 years? Did she divorce him before her eligibility to become a U.S. citizen? Is she going back home or staying here in the U.S.? Would be intresting to find out.
Anyone that is going through a divorce tends to focus their anger on the larger group. I would say that you could probably find men that fall into 3 of these but number 4 is a gimme. What man would not want #4 given the choice? Now if your soul reason is #4 then you'll have an issue.
Frank is very right about the age thing. When I was 29 I dated a 19 year old Korean girl. Man was that a pain, we were just on different plains of thought.
Maybe it is just me but I sure don't need a woman to run my life and I don't want to be a tyrant either. There is a nice balance in there for everyone.
My own opinion – why do Russian girls are looking for American man.
They want family. To find a person in there 30’s who also want to make a family is extremely difficult. Where can she find a Russian man? In internet? But most man are not looking for relationships in Russian Internet site – they are just looking for sex.
And she knows that on Russian-US site she can really find a person who are looking for a family and may be share her own family value.
Most girl do not want to go to America. They would prefer to be at home.
First it is extremely true everything that Spirit said. It just can't be argued with.
Next the 15 year rule is something that I figured out all by my lonesome right at the beginning. I posted regarding it several times. On the other hand I know of several marriages here that are working just fine with a 20+ year gap. It sort of depends on the individuals involved. It would rarely work with an American girl. Women from FSU are for the most part older than their years. Marina is 37 going on 57. That is typical. It is great for a western guy because we can to a large extent have our cake and eat it too. 25 = 35 and so on. I am hoping everyone here read Freebirds comments. He is out their in Ukraine as we speak doing quailty control for the rest of us. What a guy!
I have managed to achieve a happy medium. 12 years difference. This window has many advantages for both of us and we have discussed it. It is realistic. Imagine a girl of 24 with a guy who is 50. She will be 'needy' at the age say 35 and he will be 60 and on and on. A classic recipe for her to look elsewhere. What if you want children as I do. 80 years old with a teenager running around? Not good.
I have noticed with Marina that she likes to take control. I actually don't mind but I believe in traditional roles and that means I have veto powers. The man has dominance, period. I will not tolerate being told what to wear or how I should speak or anything else like that. Perhaps I have lived too long with Latins but that is how I think. My ex wife was Cuban and she could nag but she knew when to shut her mouth. This attitude is going to upset many women including Bagira but that is how it is. My view is a extremely benign dictatorship. I did not start out this way, it is not what I want, it is what I have learned what is neccesary in my 49 years.
Likewise I am not a great believer in democracy. It is not what the word originally meant anyway. I believe in the expression 'too many cooks spoil the broth'. As far as I am concerned my new wife can run everything and even tell me what to do but ultimately I have a veto power. I actually have found that this is what women secretly want anyway. For all this talk of feminism and equality etc they want a man to be a man. To be strong and reliable. To know his own mind and cabable of being firm without dogmatism or cruelty. She wants that guy to be a rock for her.
A little story to illustrate.
I ran 3 teams at work with a bunch of very intelligent guys. the first one started out with me forming it and then telling everyone that despoite the guidlines given we would be different. No leader. We were a democracy of intelligent adults and we were mature enough to pull together without anybody dominating. It didn't work. Gradually I emerged as a natural go to guy.
I tried it a second time with a slightly different crew. Same thing.
The 3rd time I had learned my lesson and at the very first meeting I stated that I would be formally leading that group, everything passed through me and I would decide assignments. That worked. It is what they needed a leader.
Relationships are the same. Very close partnership, consultation, consideration, total trust and reliance. Ultimately though I am the man she is the woman. Screw feminism.
There is another old expression which should be remembered.
'The man chases the woman until she catches him'!!!
I apologise in advance for this post which has probably pissed off every liberal within the entire western world. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I can't help it. Now you can all take the flamethrower to my ass and I won't complain a bit.
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