Okay, guys (and the few gals hanging around); I am going for my first trip to Belarus to visit my sweetie. I am leaving from Florida, USA; I have read a couple of the e-books on the elena's website and I have scanned many of the threads on this forum. What do I need to know about FSU customs, habits, expectations and problems before I go and make a complete ass of myself. I do not have the time to run back and forth to FSU countries to search for multiple dates, I want this to work out if it is meant to work out. Unload folks, I need any advice you can give.
I've never been to Belarus, but (off the top of my head) from what I've experienced in Russia and Ukraine:
Be honest about yourself and your life. Bring some photos of your city, your home, your family, etc...
Bring nice, clean shoes. FSU women care about a man's shoes.
(corollary: take off your shoes upon entering her flat)
(corollary: don't step on her shoes, even if you are packed like sardines in the metro or on a bus)
Don't be wishy-washy. Know what you want and tell her.
If you are a social drinker, don't drink more than two drinks in front of her at one time, or else you will be accused of having "drunkness."
Be a gentleman--pay for things, open the door for her, get out of the taxi and offer your hand to help her out.
(corollary: don't try to "buy" her affection by showering her with gifts)
Be prepared to propose marriage in much less time than we would take in the U.S.
(corollary: you are expected to make the first moves in most aspects of the relationship)
What Toad said.
Oh, and if you don't have time for multiple trips--have a backup plan. You might not feel you need it, but if you get off the plane and there is no chemistry you will have wasted your trip. Find an agency in the city where you'll be visiting and make some backup arrangements if you need them.
VNV, advice received and processed; have already contacted an agency and they are doing the hotel and transportation and the backup arrangements. Clean shoes-okay, I will buy some. Propose-my problem will be to hold back as I am moving a bit fast.
If you think you might propose to your lady, make sure to take lots of photographs of the two of you together. My lawyer wanted 4-5 photos, but said I could give him more and he would choose the ones that INS would like the most. Photos in front of places that are obviously in Belarus are good, as are photos with her parents, and some photos of the two of you being (a little) affectionate.
:) Toad. Yes bring 24 condoms that way you can get 48 Use's out of them
Just turn them inside out :) Make sure you all ready have one on when you get there.
For the longest time I thought I had mine on backwards turns out there re-usable.
Wow what a great day that was when I found that out.
VNVnation - your comment about the shoes. MY GAWD - do you KNOW MY LADY?
I have NEVER mentioned it in this forum before - but I have always been curious about her fascination (was going to say fetish - but that's different) with SHOES.
She has ALWAYS checked out my shoes - and she has always LOVED shoes (a point which puts her in common with 95% or the world's other women I realize),
But the big thing - NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER step on her shoes - brush against her shoes, or bump her shoes even on the most crowed "mini-bus". Do not nudge her shoes in the process of putting yours next to hers while putting on your slippers. And, for heaven sake, DON'T knock one of her boots over as she has it standing up near the door. Even if you right it again immediately and this all occurrs while she is fast asleep - the moment she wakes - she will KNOW.
My lady is wonderful - the there is something about shoes. And it seemed VNVnation hit the nail on the head.
(This post is brought to you by ANOTHER of those reason I will have to leave this forum when she gets here.)
I don't know any 25 year old Moldavan women, so I don't know your lady. But I have encountered everything that you've described in quite a few FSU women.
I wonder if there is some cultural reason for the shoe fascination?
Of course - I was not serious about you actually knowing my lady. It just gave me a lauching place for my point.
If a typical Moldovan makes between $60 and $150 per month (working in the country) and boots cost $100 to $130 per pair - as my lady's do - I guess I can see the concern the ladies have for their boots.
I mean - if an American woman paid say $4,000 for her boots - she would probably be sensitive to their well-being too.
Ditto on all you have said about boots and shoes. My girl tells me her boots are 4 or 5 years old now, and she expects them to last much longer. She buys good quality shoes for that reason. When I visited last winter we had to go to the shoe repair man because of a broken heel. It seems she has been to the shoe repair shop many times. She only had one pair of boots and one pair of shoes. I took her shopping for another pair of shoes....interesting but when I suggested we also look at a pair of Nikes or Reebocks she looked at me with horror and told me she could never imagine wearing them. Something to do about "fashion"! Then when we walk she complains (only a little) about sore feet. Can there be any wonder why any FSU woman has sore feet walking as much as they do in those high heels? I am still working on her about the Nikes.
Great point Neon:
The shoe-repair business in thsi country went away about the same time as men's hat stores.
Yet they are thriving in Moldova and my lady new the proprietors very well. She asked me to stand outside - lest the prices she typically gets begin going up knowing that she has an Americna guy. The shoe repair places I visited were (I did go with her in Ukraine where she didn't know the people) were all dark basement type operations - but I saw a lot of people coming and going.
A very few things weren't good deals to be repaired. We had a cheap umbrella - I've seen them for $3 to $5 at Walmart in this country - but one part didn't quite open properly so she took it to be repaired - the reapir cost around $5. She seemed suprised to find that an entire umbrella could be hhad for that price in the US.
I saw another one of those interesting businesses....button shop. It was a small shop tucked under the stair well in a downtown building. My girl had her tailor make a jacket for her (same price as buying in the store) and we had to take that jacket to the button man to pick out buttons and/or snaps. He installed them while we waited. I never saw that in the US.
I have to admit I have never seen anything like that either. But it doesn't surprise me in the FSU. ANY nook or cranny that could be made into store or repair facility - was mad into one. A little excess space on the side of a stairway in a "department store" was a lingere shop. The inside area betwee the double set of doors had makshift shops selling things like batteries (per battery from multipacks - because nobody ever buys a whole multipack of batteries) or something on both sides.
Capitalism is alive and.... well, attepted anyway in Moldova. Give them a box a few batteries or a few pairs of stockings and a place to stand and you have a business.
A lot of us are finding our women in the FSU and to be sure, the women there are beautiful, exotic, intelligent and everything that we are looking for. But I swear - a LOT of us relish telling others these stories as much as (well ALMOST as much as) finding the women of our dreams. The FSU isn't the moon or Mars, it isn't the deepest jungles of Africa - but the place IS different. And it IS an adventure.
If you don`t mind, I`ll tell you some words about us (FSU women) and give you some advices how to earn our trust. It is my point of view, my opinion. I hope it will help you.
We want you to be attentive to us, to show your interest (ask questions about woman`s life, her personality, what kind of books she likes to read and so on). Important moment. Reading. A lot of FSU women like to read psychological, phylosophical books (I am one of them :), they are very educated, intelligent and all-rounded. FSU woman is a very deep person. So show you interest to her in every occassion, show interest when she tells you about books she`ve read, about her everyday living, about her studies or a job. Ask her about her plans, intentions and dreams in life. Such conceptions as Kindness, Sincerity and Understanding are very important to us. Take care of her, show your warm feelings, be tactful, avoid any pressure, respect her desires and opinions and you`ll establish strong relationship and mutual understanding. Give her a flowers, be romantic, be a REAL GENTLEMAN! :-) Be open and honest. Tell her about your personality, your life, your values in life, be honest with her about things which are important for you. Don`t do anything to compromise her trust!
I wish you good luck!
If you have any questions, - you are welcome!
Sincerely,
Tatiana
P.S. VNVnation`s advices from 09.07.2005 20:25:55 are very good. Use these avices.
castaway read closely to what is written here all good advice i just return from moldova the 1st of june i had a wonderful time and met the woman of my dreams so good luck and have fun .. you said you live in tampa? ill be moving to st pete in sept or oct and if all goes well my lady will be here by nov or dec so i have to get things ready here for her and see wants to help find the house that i will buy
jet any info that you can tell me or send me about the interveiw would be greatful you can send to my email or anyone else that has any thx hammer