Sailor,
I know where you are coming from but I don't exactly agree with you. My Marina's wish was for true love not to leave Russia. In fact her whole attirude was extremely cynical of the whole international dating scene. It was a bone of contention between us. I actually had one woman in Moscow say I would ask you to live in Moscow but I know you won't.
I would have to agree with you Izi. The lady that I am off to see in September would be more than delighted if I would relocate to Ukraine rather than her relocating to America.
Exactly. I think that few more experienced guys here would agree with Sailor. "Escaping" to America is certainly a very low prority for many of them. Now and again you come across one bu they are the exception and are usually among the younger crowd. I have one in Belarus that I am friends with only who desperately wants out. She is 26 and about to have a baby any day now. She lived in the States for 5 years and rues the day she went back to Belarus. However for the ones who have not been to the west mostly they think that FSU is the bees knees.
I have met both kinds. My lady doesn't particularly want to leave St. Petersburg but she has consented to do so for the sake of our relationship and future. Other ladies that I have met were not happy living where they live and were looking for both a relationship and a better country.
Well, I dated a woman for 3 years, then it took another year to get a fiancee visa, had to get 2 Senator's and a congressman involved, once the visa was approved, whe would not leave Russia to move here. So, not all Russian woman want out of Russia...
Can't believe how long it took to get a visa. Looks like things have improved since then. I see Ditto needed just 96 days from the time he mailed his application until she had her visa. Lucky for him he lives in the northeast and used the Vermont processing center which has the fastest processing times.
Good luck TJ. In fact good luck to both of us. I am about to give up on this whole letter writing method.
I have been tipped to a small personal agency in Kherson. They handle no more than 2 clients at a time there. That is to say when you arrive, no more than 2 at a time in town. Total personal service. The works from airport pickup to translater. All for $900 for 10 days including apartment. Kind of a deal. They will take care of the girls for you, arranging 3 to 5 meetings one on one each day. This is good because I am fed up with this whole process.
I have tried several tactics and I am out of ideas. It is bloody expensive to go out there and it is somehow not for me to go to a social. Although I am not opposed. I think it is those little stick on name tags that puts me off a bit.
"Hi I'm Bob and I work for United Plumbing. What do you think of those new self flushers? Spiffy eh?" :))
No I have got to a certain point that I need help. Maybe a professional matchmaker is the answer. At least they know all the girls personally and can select them tailored to my needs. My main concern was that there would not be a large enough selection. A phone call today to the sister of the agency who lives in Tampa took care of that question. I think I am going to give this a try. 'Cos I am out of ideas. :))
That sounds cheap. I expect to pay $100 a night for a hotel or apartment. That sounds interesting, maybe we should go together! Where do you live? The only thing that puts me off in all this, is finding women who can speak English and also that I like. I am rather picky as I want the real deal! Send me an email and tell me more about this agency. I guess you trust them? Be careful, there are agencies that are hooked up with the mafia, the agency gets the tourist over there and the mafia grabs them!
tj
the whole country is hooked to the Mafia. But don’t worry about them. They are safe as long as you don’t try and interfere with their system and process.
The cost of accommodation in a place like Kerson would be as izi states. It wont be flash and the cost to the company he will use will be nothing as they will most probably own it.
Sounds a good idea Izi. Get in amongst these people - as I have said before - every day I am out and about another opportunity is there if I wanted it - but I don’t - I will stick with my little Jam Maker :-)
Ok. I am going to explain my thoughts on all this a little further. Who knows some good might come out of it all.
Firstly I congratulate you Maxi. You are a lucky man. I wish I was you. I like you am not one to wander when I am settled with one woman. It would take some serious effort on the part of another woman to pry me away from the one that I am with. It is just how I am. You sound like you have hit the jackpot. I wish I had with Marina. That woman still has a pretty good grip on me and every day I have to talk myself out of writing to her or calling. Actually I have a feeling that if I did contact her the whole thing could be ressurected. My brain tells me that would not be a god idea but my heart has other ideas, yes heart no my other head. That actually doesn't enter into this.
So what have I tried and what has happened to cause me to go doen this road?
Somebody new here asked me the story about Marina. Frankly I am not going to regurgitate that all again it is buried in this forum somewhere. However the method that I found her is the important thing here.
I have a streak of beginners luck a mile wide I always have in whatever I try in life. Then I flop and have to go through heavy duty dues paying and foot work. I have always been like this. My experience with Marina was a classic example of this. Also another woman before her.
Just as all you people who are new here I was taken in by the blurb on the AFA website and all the articles and Elena's book and even this forum. They are out there for the picking they said. Just do it this way and give us money. LOTS OF IT !! :))
But I decided to get my feet wet one toe at a time and started by joining Fiance.com and started writing. I looked at the pictures and said MY GOD I have hit the motherload !!
So I shuffled around for a bit and quickly got my stride. I wrote about 20 women and very quickly narrowed down to Marina. It was a no brainer. We wrote for less than a month and I bought a plane ticket to go and see her. There was a 4 month wait between the first email and actually going because I had to wait due to time constraints and it was the bloody winter there. That was a mistake.
There were problems from the 2nd email from her. However it quickly smoothed out and it got better. Another attitude adjustment was needed in December. Again sweetness and light. So I go and things were very good and very bad. I am not going to cover this again it is too much.
I returned and we limped on for another couple of months. Now we are done.
Since then I have tried to get my act together with a variety of women and have developed a clarity of thought that I did not think I was capable of. This forum has helped me tremendously. It has given me friends of a like mind and support that I have not experienced before. I have learned tremendously from Toad and QC and many others. Each one has contributed to the method and thinking I have developed.
I want to talk about that.
Here is a quick note. Don't let the Russian winter put you off going. It isn't that bad. You are not Napolean fleeing Moscow!! It isn't that desperate. they heat the shit out of buildings and it is actually rather refreshing after Florida. What is more important you should meet this woman as soon as possible. That way you don't waste time.
I mentioned earlier that I know what I am looking for now. But you are a grown man I hear you cry and have been married for 12 years. Surely you knew what you were looking for in the first place.
NO!!
I thought I did.
It takes time to unravel all this and clearly get an idea of what you are looking for. Then develop the method of how to go about getting it. I wish I was 35 because I would do this completely differently and invest maybe 5 years in it as a guy I read about did. 2 trips a year each trip a mimimum of 14 days. Meeting up to 20 women a trip. Yes meeting not writing.
When I started my profile was minimal and my opening letter which I still use was a nice rounded affair.
I attracted a lot of attention also because I have nice pictures.
Then I had my little disaster with Marina and changed.
My profile became specific. Very specific.
It mentioned all the things I had learned and also that I had been to Russia and knew what the problems were that Russian women encountered with men. It turned out to be a double edged sword.
Yes I got congratulated by women on knowing exactly what I wanted but I also got insulted. Only the other night I was called 'too strict'. And accused of trying to rescue a Russian woman.
In other words you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
So here is a piece of advice.
Have a list of your wants and needs. What is important to you. Then keep the profile bland and non commital about anything. Then using emails quickly weed out the herd by asking questions from your list.
Can you get permission from the father for the child to leave the country?
Are you capable of housework? (a valid question)
Are you ready to leave your homeland FOREVER? (not as daft as it might sound)
I have many more questions but you get the idea.
Unfortunately the problems with writing and calling are many. There is just no substitute for a face to face meeting.
I grew to love Marina through calls and emails. Yes it is possible. When I went to visit her I was gone the first time we slept together. I couldn't believe this beautiful woman wanted me. It would never happen in America.
The problem was all the wacky stuff that went with it. It was March and the xmas tree was still up. The fridge looked like some mad scientists experiment etc.
In other words love does not conquer all. You can't live on love. Looks are not everything as Maxi so quite rightly points out. However thay do count in a biiiiigggg way.
But how can you find this stuff out before you spend $4,000 to visit her?
Answer - YOU CAN'T !!!!!
She will not tell you and you have no way of guessing. There is only one way to find out.