I wouldnt suggets a 23 year old wife if you have a 21 year old daughter thats gotta cause alot of problems.Step mother step daughter relationships are some of the most complex and can be horrific in some cases I can only imagine that if the two are of similar ages they there is gonna be alot of competiveness
in that to your daughter this woman is gonna be doing things for you she cant. And also maybe your ex? didnt do for you either. And if you are close to your daughter she will feel that you are replacing her.
Try reading this article its quite interesting..
I do not think that there will be a lot of problem with 21 years old daughter. She does not need a lot of mothering at this age.
The most difficult is the early teens. Especially if you have divorced recently. And they need a lot of parenting. And parents have to communicate friendly about their kids. Most probably the main step for being a good stepmother is to push you to create even more friendly relationship with you ex about proper parenting. I do not think she will be able to rule them directly. Only may be consider them as part of her family and care about their needs. And push you being a better father.
At the same time kids tend to blame you that you leave them. And blame any of you girlfriend. I just can not imagine that a girl who are wise enough to become a good stepmother for your kids can chose you as a husband. If she is wise she will not chose person who has left 3 kids.
I actually agree that a wise young lady will not put herself into that
I am lucky to have a great family and unfortunately we lost our love we get along very well still very good friends and still meet almost every week we leave one block apart, we are both professionals with a good income and kids spend 50/50 time.
I think a woman on her 30's with no children or one children will be easy to fit and carry on.
Well I am glad to have the chance to exchange opinions
Step mothers, especially those that have their own children from another marriage but are theirs biologically, coming into another relationship with a guy that has his own children from another relationship will not work.
The step-mother will always favour their own biological child over their new husbands children from another marriage.
I am a product of a failed step family as described and my step mother was from Eastern Europe ( Hungary, former USSR country ) stupidly imported to Australia by my father as his second wife, she treated me and my sister like shit when we were kids while her own biological daughter got the royal treatment.
Step mothers with step children don't work, their bad news no matter where there from.
I don't care what people here think..a woman can not love another womans child like her own biological chid..there will always be favouritism to her own while non biological children will be treated like shit in a marriage..it does'nt work, guys don't go down this path if you have you own school age kids and want to marry another woman with her own children..family blending does not work..its fooked..a recipe for disaster and your kids will suffer, Ia m very biased against this, anyone would be if they were treated like shit when they were kids with this step-mother crap..I hate my step-mother and will dance on ehr grave when she drops dead, I don't wish her well!
Technically it wasnt a part of the USSR but was controlled by them never the less as part of
The Soviet Bloc the same as Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, East Germany,Poland, Romania,
there dosnt seem to have been much difference as they were all puppet goverments.
Aussieman, sorry you had to go through a sucky childhood but not all stepmothers are like that. You can't say just cause you had a ***** as a stepmother that they will all be like that. Sorry to say but it sounds like your dad wasn't that great either. He should have put his children first and left her if she was so bad. But everyones family is different and you can't think all stepmothers can't love their step child as much as their own. I have many adopted and step children as well as blood born kids in my family and they are all loved the same. It is their attitudes that get them treated different.
OK you're pretty new here but aussieman claims to be a leading authority on FSU ladies yet he has never travelled there, he has previously admitted to only reading and looking at videos to become such a leading authority and indeed previously let slip that he has been scammed by these ladies, sending money to someone one has never met and all that!
And the he makes claim that Hungary was USSR, are we saying that literally every European country during WW11 was German? I was having a 'pop' at aussieman's level of ignorance colin and nothing more :)
Hungary was controlled by the old USSR,part of the old Soviet block..I know that Martin, I just abbreviated my post, its just minor technical details, you prissy, that are irrelevant.
I am not a leading authority on FSU ladies but meet a few here that seemed o.k ( they were married to people I meet ), I corresponded with quite a lot of the internet ( many scammers ), a few were good but we did not proceed as Australia is too far away from their homelands to want to come here ( some did not realise just how far it is, 16,000 km and how expensive the air travel was and how long the trip is..it takes an average of 27 hours to get to Kiev from here with connectiong flights ), I even spoke to a few on the telephone that could speak reasonable English.
I am not a leading authority but had more than 3 years experience over the internet with them, come across many fake marriage agencies etc.
I have been very minor scammed once in my very early days of this with a Kiev woman.
I am just relating my internet experiences with girls, scammers and marriage agencies.
I am not going to the FSU..don't need too, I have a partner now.
Why would I with all the scamming and non genuine women their, the corruption, the fake marriage/dating agencies.
Things are not so bad in the Ukraine or Russia, most girls are tied to their families and friends, they have a great social network and are happy and loyal to their countries and would not want to leave for a foreign country with a man...its a big ask to sacrifice the life they have always known and loved to come to a strange country to be with a man they don't really know ( K1 visa period of 3 months is no where near enough time to know someone and marry them, its a shot gun wedding to say the least )..the man has to be some real special super catch to make them want to do this, they have better social networking and relationships than most of us in the West which makes up for the hardships in their countries..what is better, to live a hard life they have always known with many friends and family? or come to a strange country and be lonely with no friends, living conditions may be better but?? why would they want to stay couped up in a house by themselves as a housewife while you are at work with a boring existence?
The girls are not desperate to leave their countries..don't believe what a lot of marriage agencies say, life may be harder for them but they are happy and contented in the world they have always known..that is the reality of it.
You're the prissy for trying to add weight to your imaginary knowledge by making claim that you have/had a USSR step-mother!
A year or two ago I was working with a Romanian company, working and socialising with Romanians on business, and the difference in cultures and mentalities to those of, let us say, Ukraine is like chalk & cheese.
Like Romania, Hungary may have been regulated by USSR, had ruled dictated by and had some uniformed militarised figures out on display but to try to compare that to actually living in USSR ..... well you're just displaying your ignorance.
Aussieman has made valid points.
It’s true that Russian and Ukraine women have a better social environment than women in the west. It all comes down to whether or not the woman can accept giving up this environment to come and live with you.
I have had experience of a woman who wanted to live with me but decided she could not give up her own social environment.
By western standards this woman was poor in material things but wealthy in friendship and family. Every day was a struggle for her and she had a hard life…but this is only my perception. She got by..and was happy with her lot. What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t bleed for.
This is what counted for her.
It was only half a days journey for her to visit her hometown and she could have went anytime she chose.
But it was not enough.
And before anyone thinks anything….yes I was more than man enough for her. We had physical and emotional attachment…. …it was written on her face every time we met.
She wanted a man…not to give her babies or to buy her things….just someone to be with.
I reckon a lot of the women who claim to want to live in the west haven’t really thought about it.
You’d be better sticking to the one’s who have been here, went home and then wanted to come back again. They’re the ones who have thought about it more and have more experience…and there are very few of them.
Jet If I was bringing a girl out on a K1, I would put her in an English school as soon as possible (like within a week). There are normally always some other Russian/Ukrainian girls there and they seem to develope good frinds. I think it givs them some sense of belonging and also gives them something to do for 3+ hours a day while you are working.