the scam isn't that they are paid to show up. they aren't.
the scam is that the beautiful girls you see on websites are a very small fraction of the girls you will see at the socials. at least i can say this is true for afa. i can't speak
for anastasia socials but i reckon its not far from different.
also, you might have heard that socials are filled with prostitutes. also not true. do you think ANY normal girl would show up and be surrounded by whores. i DONT think so. the fact that a couple make it in doesn't make it worth talking about.
if anybody wants to know the real deal they can ask me. i've been to more socials than i care to admit.
they have their good and bad points. at best, you will meet a couple candidates. most assuredly, you will meet a wingman, with whom you can go out hunting with.
Guess they only show up on "weekends"......no letter'a' and no letter'y'.
Actually jet, I still don't understand why a fsu girl would show up to a social(other than food and drinks), it just seems degrading.........the mentality of these girls. What is REALLY in it for these girls?
You have a dozen or so guys and lets say 100 girls, great for the guys, you have pick of the litter but look at it from a girls point of view, how many go home knowing guys had no interest in girl, maybe even never got to speak to any guy. You know only the top tier girls (handful)got the attention. Would you attend a social where there were a hundred guys and a dozen girls?? Not me!
If you viewed the recent UK TV Channel 4 production then you would have seen that there were similar numbers of guys to gals but it became apparent that some of the guys were outcast jerks whilst some of the ladies were there for the free food and drinks and any gifts the guys might buy for them, an agency does not need to pay such ladies to arrive, they will turn up anyway!
But, on that TV production, not one single relationship developed which does have a 'smell a rat' about it, as I recall it was an AFA social who are currently being discussed on another thread.
Nothing to do with socials but my best friend in Ukraine owns a dating agency and I became aware that she entices the ladies in by promoting that guys will buy presents for them. As some on this forum will know I am one to speak my mind and I have told best friend that if she wants to promote her business then she uses her money and not 'our' money, she respects me for speaking my mind, obviously AFA and others promote their businesses likewise but will they listen either?
Its unlikely that I would attend a Romance Social if I was a woman, pretty much for the same reason I don't frequent singles bars as a man. The odds would simply not be in my favor - and I would view it as a waste of time. BUT, having said that, there are PLENTY of guys who are NOT top tier (which simply means not looking like Brad Pitt and not having the money of Bill Gates) who DO frequent singles bars. These guys go every weekend - sometimes more often, and generally go home alone.
Its not up to me to determine whether attending a Romance Social is the best use of a woman's time. I guess that determination is up to her. She COULD always spend the time, instead, in a smoke filled internet cafe, hopelessly writing to men who might immediately peg her as a scammer for intititating contact, and even if they do write back - might only make the trip to Eastern Europe one twentieth of the time (as is so often quoted regarding letter writing behavior).
Sure - I would much rather sit and type lonely hearts letters - then to go to a social event where there is music playing, free eats, and champaign and the real possibility that I might touch base with a READ person with the genuine interest and means to actually come to Eastern Europe and meet me. Sure I would. Yeah... right.
"Right - and only on the days of the week with no "y" in the name."
"Guess they only show up on "weekends"......no letter'a' and no letter'y'."
beemer - is "weekends" really one of "the days of the week"? .....Public school?
But it doesn't really matter WHY they show up. They do. And they are real. And none of the traditional letter writing scms apply.
Is it fair to say then that most, I mean 95% and up that these women are all sincere in looking for a husband, but are also shopping around? If she decides that you are not the one for her, she just tries to take you for money or just keeps what she has already been given?
It seems that you are asking your question regarding women who attend Romance Socials?
Its fair to say that she might be "shopping around" for a husband, but then aren't we ALL "shopping around" for a perspective spouse, until we have made a commitment anyway?
But this idea "If she decides that you are not the one for her, she just tries to take you for money ", wow that's a big jump. Any woman who ultimately decides that you are not the one is going to try and take you for money? At best thats a pretty pessimistic assumption. And if I fet that way about this process - I would look elsewhere.
I can safely say that of ALL of the women I have met at Romance Social not ONE has ever tried to take me for money - CERTAINLY not like the gentleman who wrote in all capitals in this thread - about how a supermodel had taken him for (est.) $40,000 over two years. He didn't meet her through a Romance Social, from what I understand, either.
Jet, I understand what you say..... plenty of guys are NOT top tier stuff who attend the socials.
I would think many are social misfits thinking they are going to 'pick up' because there are many excess girls at the event. So are you saying that these girls who attend socials also do frequent bars?
I only asked because a girl I have been writing to and met told me that serious girls do not attend socials. Her and her friends would not be caught dead there. It is only for the lonely girls or girls that want something(gifts or $$$$). If a girl has a life at home she would be out with friends at cafe or something. I know you won't see it that way since you met your gf's there.
This girl gave me best answer to question of leaving ukraine, only if I find the right guy, she is not anxious to leave and would be more than happy to stay, not being busy writing letters to guys, she is not in any agency and one of only a handful of girls I have met in almost 3 years that I thought were serious in their search. Just some first hand info from a girl.
Weekends are 3 days of the week...frida, saturda and sunda
"But it doesn't really matter WHY they show up"
It would matter to me...maybe that is why I have never been to one.
"Jet, I understand what you say..... plenty of guys are NOT top tier stuff who attend the socials. "
beemer18 - are you arguing that most letter writers are top-tier? Do you think that Brad Pitt spent most of his time writing to women on the internet before he hooked up with Angela Jolee? Do you think that George Clooney and Matt Damon spend there time writing to women on these websites when not staring in major motion pictures? Better question yet - it is NECCESSARY that we all be top tier in order to do this? I had no idea that this was such an exclusive club.
"I would think many are social misfits thinking they are going to 'pick up' because there are many excess girls at the event. "
And of course there are no misfits writing letters all day. Its only the George Clooneys and Matt Damons of the world. Got it.
"So are you saying that these girls who attend socials also do frequent bars?"
On my God, it might be true. You mean you think that some of girls sometimes go to (I can barely even type this) BARS!?!?!? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. BARS!?!?! Say it can't be true! They must be forever SOILED!
Actually - and seriously - NO PLACE in my post did I suggest that these women frequent the (dreaded) bars. I merely the relative success rate of these women to the success rate of western men going to singles bars. Read my post again. But would it be so bad if they did?
"I only asked because a girl I have been writing to and met told me that serious girls do not attend socials. Her and her friends would not be caught dead there. "
And of course THIS girls speaks for all women of Eastern Europe, for there cannot be any divergent opinion among that group. They have one mind that they share she is letting you in on all of their secrets. Got it.
"This girl gave me best answer to question of leaving ukraine, only if I find the right guy, she is not anxious to leave and would be more than happy to stay..."
The women I have met at Romance Socials are ALSO not desperate to leave their countries except for the RIGHT GUY. That is common among ALL serious single Easter European women. DId you think they dropped of applications for exit visa at the door when attending a Romance Social?
""But it doesn't really matter WHY they show up"
It would matter to me...maybe that is why I have never been to one."
beemer - there isn't neccessarily a COLLECTIVE REASON for attending. Just as WE have no single collective reason for pursuing the girls as we do. We all have our own life stories.
But the last part of your last sentence is perhaps the most important and speaks volumes of those with preconceived notions about Romance Socials.
Jet, I never said I was an expert, only suggesting what I have been told by girls I met. It is ONLY one small perspective. I was not speaking for all girls or all guys, just my viewpoint.
I was kidding about the girls going to bars....just a stretch from what you said in your example about guys going to bars.
"Jet,I understand what you say..... plenty of guys are NOT top tier stuff who attend the socials. "
I remember you saying at one of socials that your description of guys that not very many
had something going for them, the rest were misfits. Is my mind going?
There are misfits everywhere Jet, plenty in letter writing, don't have to get defensive about socials because you prefer them, to each his own. What works for you, great. I am sure there ARE some serious girls at the socials. I am not putting them down.
"But the last part of your last sentence is perhaps the most important and speaks volumes of those with preconceived notions about Romance Socials.
It is not a preconceived notion.....only retrospective viewpoint of girls that attend the event, is there a problem wondering why a girl would attend a social?
Some guys use socials
Some use agencies
Some use local websites
Some go visit and meet girls off the street
Some travel many times
Some go only once
Whose to say which is best? Whatever floats your boat.
Don't shoot someone down because their approach is different than yours.
Just give your suggestions and we appreciate the input and feedback.
Let us use the information and decide on which approach is best for us.
Advise us, don't judge us.
I really don't see an upside of going to a social versus corresponding and arranging a meet. Both are still a crap shoot. It's all in chemistry and the chemistry begins in the mind. Meeting someone at a social and spending time with her isn't any different than corresponding and then meeting. This has nothing to do with my bias about socials but the reality involved that you are leaving in a few weeks.
In most of our situations travel is extensive, jobs, other personal responsibilities don't give us the latitude to travel back and for every weekend. Unless you may be in Europe then that possibility is there. So what's the advantage of one over the other. Nothing. At a social you are going on a chance that you will meet someone, maybe you won't it's entirely possible. Same as communication via email and phone. You still have to get to know each other and that requires time together. A social meeting can fizzle just the same as the other. So what do you do if you bomb at a social? Same as you do if it doesn't work out with prior communication. You start from square one.
An example, I met a lady in Chicago about 8 years ago. She lived in Tehacapee CA. Well educated, divorced grown children. We had an excellent time in Chicago. American West had cheap flights to LA for 175 round trip, I was doing three weekends a month there. Fly into LA rent a car and drive to Tehacapee. It slowly disintergrated because even though we enjoyed each others company in Chicago we were diametrically opposed politically and on religion. We learned that we were polar opposites in many areas in life. She wasn't a bad person, extremely beautiful, but I couldn't compromise my values in life just to be with an intelligent beautiful woman. I would have been miserable. Her friends were of similar ilk. The last two weekends made me crazy. So I pulled the plug. Same could happen at a social, we really don't know.
So in this realm of dating we have chosen to follow, there really isn't a benefit one way or another. Both can be successful and both can be dismal failures. Both require work and common sense. When my wife and I were communicating, she sent me a list of about 40 questions about life. She answered hers and emailed me and I answered mine and emailed here. 90% of the issues were were mostly in common agreement. It was interesting to compare each others thoughts on issues from children, to religion to pre-conceived ideas about each others country. Being a speech therapist, she's heavy into Psychology. With both of us seeing the world through similar glasses we decided it was worth trying this long range relationship.
It may not work for some, but we took our time. Moving to the States was a huge thing for her. Though it has worked out wonderfully. The thing is, and I disagree with a post in another thread. This isn't any different in dating than you would do in your own country, the only real significant difference is the distance. Culture can come into play but also ideology can also on the local front. Just a balancing act using common sense.
Then why would one come here??? Most times it is to tell a story and most will tell what they think about that particular situation. Some here have thin skins and cannot take any 'advice',
no one is forcing anything down anyones throat....you can choose to accept it or ignore it.
I will say that most people do come here for 'advice'or a 'question'.
I have always said there is no right or wrong here, only my way and your way, everybody can use their own discretion as to what is best for them...if something goes wrong...then it is a 'your' problem.
This forum is for opinions, hopefully drawn from your FIRST HAND experiences, just don't take things so personal.
I have always sent in reports on my trips, which I think guys enjoy reading,I know I enjoy reading others stories.
advice, 'dont date women from nikolaev they are all scammers'
opinion, 'i don't feel women the small town girls offer any more oppurtunity than big city girls'
trip report, 'i've been to kiev three times and kherson four times, i couldn't find anybody in the small town who spoke english and on top of that it was boring as hell with nothing to do. I did however, arrange some dates without the need for agency assistance in the bigger cities.'
which one of those is more helpful?
my point on advice is just this, what works for one person might not work for another. there are so few global truths. i was even going to write an ebook at one point, because i wanted to help men save alot of time and money, but i changed my mind. i couldn't figure out how to help people without also discouraging them.