Well, after reading the various pre-nup threads and conversations (to put it in a gentlemanly way), I came away with one important thing. Namely, it is important to talk frankly, at some point, with the 'lady' about sex and money. Thank you GToad for driving this point home!
So being the good and conscientious Newbie that I am, I sat down and wrote to Lucy, and said
" Lucy, I think that it is important that we discuss all
areas of life together, our dreams and hopes, but also the
Realities of life. It is important that we discuss at some
point, the matters of finances and sexuality together. What
are our values and expectations and hopes in these
two areas. Matters of sex and money can cause problems in a
relationship if they are not talked about. Lucy do you agree
that these are important subjects for us to talk about
together? Lucy would you like to wait until I visit before
we discuss these topics, or would you like to begin to speak
about them now? If you would like to discuss these areas
now, then I think it would be good to speak about them in
our letters first, rather than on the phone first, so that we
can communicate clearly."
You may think I broached the subject well, or you may think that I did not! But in any event the letter was sent, and she will be writing me back soon. The problem that I have is that I really do not know what to talk about in these two areas. For the past two years both the money and sex have been in short supply (especially the latter!).
What do you all, oh wise and sagacious and worldly wise gents, think would be the necessary and appropriate areas to cover under the areas of Sex and Money? I am only a naive ant crawling on the surface of this vast and complex planet.
I'm just kinda talking to my self seeing as most of you regular posting types are safely tucked into bed. And I'm whiling away the time until 11:45 p.m when I call Sweet Lu, and wake her up (her time will be 6:45 a.m.) - I love hearing her sleepy cute voice.
Anyhow doesnt anyone appreciate that the threads that I start are entitled with verses from Beatles' songs? Maybe you UK boys have had enough of your greatest gift to the U.S. since you gave us the 13 Colonies. Well it has somehow coincided that my latest obsessive hobby of collecting vintage LPs, especially Beatles' Lps, has taken place during my foray into the even more obsessive realm of FSU women.
I got into the Beatles back when ( I was in third grade in 63'). But my favorite albums were always Sgt. Pepper, Mag. Mys Tour, Abbey Road and the like. But, wow, the early songs have come alive to me now that I am madly in infatuation with Lucy. If you feel like a young pup in love again then I recommend you resurrect your old 63' -66' Beatles albums. Dear Lucy if you are reading this: "You Really Got a Hold On Me" !
Hmm, Sex And Money, As long as she doesn't charge you too much for the sex, I'd go for it! Now seriously speaking, I think now is a perfect time to bring it up at your stage in the relationship. Good communication to me is one of the most important aspects of a good relationship between a man and a woman. And don't forget to ask when she is most fertile.
I advocate not being shy about anything to discuss.
Obviously there's a time and a place for the most delicate things and there's no reason why many if not all can be discussed prior to a visit for a view or opinion, if your relationship has reached that level (which it should beefore seeing each other). Who knows, one of these tricky discussions could easily be in stark contrast to your views, otherwise not known unless you ask. Be prepared to disagree on a few things - I know I hit the odd nerve but then you have to in order to know that person better! I look out for evasive answers.
sure you are polite, good-mannered and obviously in love!
You make a big mistake. You think, she has an american mentality. It is totally in opposite! Moldovan women want to have a REAL man, means a strong one, who is able to make important decisions. The man is the leader. If you want to discuss about financial issues, she will for sure intend to think, that you arenīt strong or grown-up enough to decide this as a man! Believe me!
About sex? Sorry, why you ask her? She knows very good, what she has to do as a woman. She expects to please you and to have sex with you. Ensata, donīt talk about sex, just do it! She expects nothing else!
Yes, good communication between you both is good, but donīt ask her about things, which she tinks to be solved by YOU, as the man.
Whilst there are some women that expect the MAN to lead. There are equally the same that expect to be treated EQUALLY where *they will not have opinion forced upon them*.
I would suggest testing the water if you don't already know what "type" (are there are many different types) than find out subsequently that dominating decisions was a wrong move. It's clearly a judgement call made different between each couple.
Worldtraveller have to agree with you that women here expect a man to be a man...but in some cases women want to please her man and do it herself, not all the time but from time to time, and if the man won't listen to what the woman wants...that's something strange and rather awful picture....brrrrrr
To my mind, both people in sex should feel free to follow their wishes...and express them freely.
If to speak about it or not...if you both feel that this should be spoken about then why not??? Anyway it will be clear from the reaction of both the man and the woman, there is no general way to act in this situation...so the only way is to try and you will find out:))
I think your're probably right Pticka. It has been my observation that most western men here in the USA have no idea how femminized they have become, especially the 20 somethings.. This is why they cant see the mistakes they are making while they are interacting with people from other cultures, men included.
Nope, not from Wisconsin but I've been there enough and just about everywhere else in the US. Actually I was born in Australia. Im in Oregon now, they make cheese here too, Tillimook Cheese. What is it with orange colored cheese in the US?
" That will be when she's flying across the vast Atlantic with rings on her hand to be with me!"
Or when she discovers the wonders of LSD ;o)))
1963, now let me see, if it was before August 28th, I was womb bound :o))
LMAO @ Dale, but you beat me to it again !! ;o))
A regards what to discuss about sex, what is there to really discuss about it until you are actually in the same room ??? Bringing up the "general topic of sex" isn't an easy thing for anyone to suddenly read in an email !!
Money is fine, everyone talks about that fairly comfortably, but other than, "do you enjoy sex ?" and "Will you have it with me ?" unless you have met her, most FSU ladies are Very shy about such things, they prefer to do, not to talk about doing !!
And that goes for all areas of life, not just sex !!
Someone on another thread mentioned "don't ask her too often what she wants, or wants to do, take charge yourself, she wants the man to make the decisions" and they were 100% correct when describing FSU women, so take heed :o)))
Sex topics don't concern me too much personally :o)
Ive done most things in my life, and tried all I want to try, so any view my lady has about what she wants to do or wants from me is cook :o)) Nothing phases me in that area :o)
(I'm sure I mentioned that I have some very unusual friends ? ;o)) )
I would Never advocate forcing an opinion or myself on any woman, just to keep the record straight :o)) When I say "take control" I mean obviously be aware of her reactions and feelings, but don't look to her all the time to make the choices :o)
Ptichka, as usual, is bang on the money, every couple is different, but just remember, so are FSU women :o)
"that most western men here in the USA have no idea how femminized they have become"
Substitute femminized, for pussy whipped !!!