-the question to be seen in the context of this Forum...
The viewpoints obviously vary, however, it could be tempting to get a general view from 'popular culture', etc.
Unfortunately not much from the FSU is available where I am.
And western culture gives a somewhat chaotic picture.
Hemmingway, a supposedly readblooded male, ended up (as somebody put) by brushing his teeth with a shotgun.
Does the "Little House on the Prairie" give a good role model for a man?
Was John Wayne a real man when he spanked Maureen O'Hara? (I think he did that in more than one of his movies).
Clint Eastwood has played both rough and 'romantic' characters...
Arnold Schwartzenegger's block buster movies may not give good answers to questions about what a real man is and how his relationship with a woman should be.
So...?
Another question is: Would it be honest if a Western man changed his style to convince a woman from the FSU that he is a real man?
Jack Ass, a real man is one that is not concerned about that question and just goes after what he wants. If I like a girl do you think I am going to spend anytime wondering about such stupidity? I go after her and I convince her that I am not only a real man, but the man she has been dreaming about. It is called a conquest my good donkey.
eeyore I just don't understand the question "Would it be honest if a Western man changed his style to convince a woman from the FSU that he is a real man?". Don't you see yourself, that it's the worst thing in the world to pretend to be somebody else to convince somebody in something??? Do you think that a girl from FSU won't notice that you're not feeling comfortable with the new style of behaviour??? She will notice the little details, one by one, and then she will put the picture together. It's not that hard. The best thing is to be yourself. Be yourself!!! As we say here "Be easier and people will turn to you", it means that you don't need to chanhe yourself, just be yourself, develop yourself, and people will start communicating with you because they will like the real you. :)
As for the real man, I answerd that yesterday, I remember for sure, you were asking about "real man's hobbies". :)
I agree with you ID, but I think that if somebody will be as what he is without paying even the slightest attention to others...he may turn into the egoist (I know all people are egoists, but in this or that degree) in the highest possible degree...is that a real man?? Maybe he is, but I wouldn't like to be with such a man, that's for sure.
The real man to my mind is the man who knows about his strenghts, but not boasting about them, and know his weaknesses, but doesn't afraid of them...
yes I agree, but to boast is to seek aproval. People talking to you and befriending you is approval enough. Of coarse people pay attention to what other people think, but to be something you are not because of what people think is what I speak of
Yes yes I completely agree with you that to become a different person just because of the thoughts other people may have is really a very bad thing:)
And you know thsi silly boasting when a person says "Oh I have a car" (just an example) so to make people being envy to him...he doesn't seek approval, just stating the fact which everybody knows already:)
it is not aproval he seeks, he seeks to impress people. I have a good example. I meet a man at a party once, in introduced himself and dave, the next sentence he spoke was that he played football for west leuges club. My instant thought, idiot. He only told me to impress me, but I was not.
:))) a weird person:) But this kind of a behaviour is a rather common, why??? don't know. I guess that people don't understand that it's the best way to impress with your soul and character rather then with words, right??? And this impression shouldn't be forcible, if a person is worth admiring, the highest impression will come by itself:)
From what I have seen in some of the profiles of the ladies it seems to me a real man is perceived to be about traditional family values. I seem to remember words like "protector of the family" and stuff like that. I also understood it means something like providing for your family, being responsible,not being afraid to take the lead and making decisions, and not running off after a while with a younger woman. Maybe I am wrong, but that's what I got out of it so far. Care to comment, Ptchika?
jjbarrier mostly you're correct, only very seldom girls mean all you mentioned at the same time, mostly it's one feature or another. But sometimes girl wants "providing for your family, being responsible,not being afraid to take the lead and making decisions, and not running off after a while with a younger woman." which means that she will have a rather passive role in the family...when the man will provide for the family, will be responsible, will take desicions and so on...but what is left for the girl??? Yes I admit that some girls would love such a life...but to my mind it's too hard for the man!! Maybe I'm wrong, but this is my point of view:)
A REAL man? Well I suppose he has to exist first and foremost.
What the hell is this Eeore? What's with all the alanytical questions and the pesistent and badly placed socratic method to understand the mundane? Stop. Just surf, enjoy the view and write to those who YOU find interesting. If the women, or men posing as women don't respond, well then their definition of a REAL man is not you. Would that bother you? Would that make you feel less 'manly'? whatever the hell that means. Just take a step back, take a breath and dive into the pool with the faith that if you are drowning, neither GLTALLTOAD or DAX will come to your rescue. :)
To inquire about the translation of the word 'love', or to fret about competing with others, well that's just silly. If you make an error that offends the lady, it was an error, fix it and move on. If it can't be fixed well then there are 9,999 other women you can practice with until you get it right. There is something important to be learned from trial and error. Don't expect answers, all people can give you are opinions. Here endeth my rant.
- I am sure that they would not just let me drown.
They would probably throw me a 'life-saver' - made of lead or concrete.
GLTALLTOAD,
- lobotomy? Dax would at least try medication first.
I am sure you could perform a lobotomy - with an ordinary garden variety spade.
Personally I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
And now if you would care to read my broken English above carefully again. It was not a question about what I am (or not), it was a question about what a woman with Russian cultural background means when she uses the expression.
Let me give a very far fetched example including only English:
If there is a (somewhat in-exact) job offer for a pilot, and it comes from the harbour authority, need a person with DC3 experience apply?
I have a question here for Ptchika - you mentioned in your response that all the characteristics I described would leave very little for the woman to do. My question is - do most of the women that are looking for men in the western world expect to adapt to western life style and also join the work force and help their husbands, or do most of them expect to stay home. In my case it wouldn't be necessary for the woman to work, but of course all those from the US have been hearing about jobs disappearing to CHina, and there are no guarantees for the future. I imagine the transition for a woman from FSU must be pretty hard, does anyone know whether there are any kind of support groups or organizations that can provide assistance to the woman? I suppose in a bigger city there might be expat communities where she can find some people with similar back grounds, but outside that it might be tougher.
jjbarrier I think that first a girl would like to stay at home, to get used to the new place, to learn the language, and so on, but as far as I know my friends, those who stayed at home were bored of that after 3-4 months of staying at home. And they started working, because they felt very very bored and there started problems in the family, but after the girls went working, the atmosphere in the families calmed down.
My friend who lives in the USA, she still doesn't work, but she has a child now, but she has a goal to study for the burse and start working as soon as she is able to.