you see, "and my life in particular". That's maybe the part of the deal she saw as an obligation, and you would too if the roles were reversed. She no doubt felt she would HAVE to, and then there's no free will is there?
Too much too early - next time organize her work so she can pay for all herself, lots better as it does not include any obligations. I know, easy said, but you'll get the point I suppose.
TD,
what Pitchka described in the last page does not happen anywhere near as often in the US as it does in FSU, not for lack of intent, but because both men and women here are conditioned almost into a role reversal and many american men are no longer confident that their charming personality, intentions and their own integrity and values are enough to attract a good woman.
It is unrealistic and flat out wrong to go at these FSU women trying to satisfy them the same way their western counterparts expect you to if we honestly want to build a serious life lasting relationship....money, jewels, financial dependency or gifts galore in the early stages of the relationship will get you an FSU mistress, a western wife or a weekend playmate from anywhere...NOT an honest FSU wife with the best she has to offer.
Buran,
I have made the same or worse mistakes at one time or another.
I was not born knowing all this shit...I had to learn it, also.
Please do not take it personally.
"My approach has always been to treat the lady like she was the greatest thing
since bubbles in beer." ....Buran
HOGWASH Buran......there is no greater thing than bubbles in BEER. HERESY I say we burn im' at the stake matey's. :)
Anyways Buran she just might not of had the same feelings towards you as you had towards her.She may of liked all you did for her and would do but deep down it was diffrent. She may of been saying these things so as not to hurt you.The only way she could leave without a protracted question of WHY's that all of us would ask was to just up and leave. Who knows.If you got hurt by her I am sorry man it does sting. I been there man all to often.All I can say is give it some time. Time is the healer.Good luck.Maybe Nor will let you drive his Jag take the sting right out of it :)
P.S. it could be that you put bubbles of beer to far down and she didn't like that either ;)
Thunderdome, it is not a rubbish. Will tell my own example, it took me about 3 years to learn to accept the financial help from my boyfriend! OK, presents, having rest together, going out it all was fine for me, but it was impossible for me to take his money for my living, for studying or so on! And step-by-step I learned that! But that took some time! So I judge from my own point of view:)
I never referred to your bits as rubbish, sorry if you misunderstood. Contrary, it actually made so much sense that I thought the statement of Frog (a happy toad = a frog :) needed correction.
Nothing wrong with accepting a financial contrubution from your boyfriend, but only as long he means well and as long as you don't depend on it. But, eh, how shall I say thing, ahem, I sense there has some emancipation crept into Lugansk of late hmm? ;-))
Thunderdome, OK OK sometimes I understand things in a wrong way. Too much work lately and not enough time of sleep do their's black work!!!:))))
Emancipation??? No, it is our family's pride have to admit, luckily it helped me to avoid many bad things in life, and to get over any bad events:))))
I think that real emancipation won't come here for many many years:)
My personal belief on such matters is more along the lines of expectations versus a fully mature relationsip with others. You don't expect support from others, nor will you condone accepting support fron others in that context. In my background, this is often referred to as "pride", which is a good thing (to me at least).
There is an article posted by an author I know that I think deals well in regards to relationships between people as equals.
"You owe it to yourself to be the best person possible. Because if you are, others will want to be with you, want to provide you with the things you want in exchange for what you’re giving to them.
Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When that happens, look elsewhere for the relationships you want. Don’t make someone else’s problem your problem.
Once you learn that you must earn the love and respect of others, you’ll never expect the impossible and you won’t be disappointed. Others don’t have to share their property with you, nor their feelings or thoughts.
If they do, it’s because you’ve earned these things. And you have every reason to be proud of the love you receive, your friends’ respect, the property you’ve earned. But don’t ever take them for granted. If you do, you could lose them. They’re not yours by right; you must always earn them."
Good to hear from you Ptichka. I've missed hearing you on the forum.
Scott, thanks for the kind words:) Was too busy, too much work, that meant not sleeping or sleeping not enough, thus not even a moment to do something else on Internet other then work! it was some crazyness...and I'm not sure if it stopped, but will try to find the time:) I also missed the forum very much!!!:)
And I thank you very much for posting that article! I think that it is a rather interesting and good attitude to the relations! I agree that it is not good to take respect, love, friendship for granted...very interesting article!:)
Accept this truth and move on. If she wanted to be with you, she would have accepted your jenerous offers. I am not trying to be rude or harsh. Its just the truth. Go and meet someone who doea want you
Just thought I'd give you guys an update on this situation:
The young lady from Connecticut suddenly re-appeared in my life. I received a call from her in mid-July. She was looking for some help in obtaining an F-1 (student) visa. She currently has a B-2 visa (I think), and wanted to attend an English language instruction school in New York.
(For those who are interested, it's the ALCC at www.learnenglish.com)
NO, SHE DIDN'T WANT MONEY! (Well, perhaps not directly) She needed someone to act as a 'sponsor'
to receive an I-20 form, which the INS wants before issuing an F-1.
Fortunately, I was in the NYC area August 13, attending the UACC Autograph Show (I got to meet Valentina Tereshkova, Alexei Leonov, and Buzz Aldrin!) I stopped by the school she wants to attend. I spoke with one of the admissions counselors for about half an hour, and better understood the situation. Everything Natasha told me was on the level.
The gruesome details:
------------------------------
The INS requires the I-20 form to verify that (1) the applicant is enrolled in a qualified educational institution, and (2) has proper financial support. It is issued by the school.
'Proper Financial Support' is a very subjective term. It depends on the school, how long you plan to be enrolled there, etc. Your 'support' must also be liquid (translation: money is in the bank - no stocks, bonds, etc. - and yes, bank statements are required). Since I don't keep my money like that, I wasn't able to help.
Fortunately, she received an extension on her visa, and can stay here until March.
And, to make things more tasty, the University of Pittsburgh has a similar school (but more $$$). Perhaps
a condition of my sponsorship should be that she attend school here? :-)
Although conversation with her is infrequent, we talk when we can, but she's hesitant to tell me why she vaporized from February until July -- however, in her defense, she says that she prefers to tell me in person.
Obviously, I'm driving under a caution flag right now :-), but it's good to hear her voice again.
A classic example of what Russianwoman are really about. The best thing she did was shaft you now before she really shafted you later. Now run and never get involved with another one again. And to all you puppets on here who read all the fairytales from the dad' army here remember these stories. It doesnt get any better.
Oh,but it does get better. And to believe that it doesn`t shows one more example of a person whose negatively set mind discounts all possibilities before they exist. Run if you must--but you will really only be running from yourself! It is funny the conradiction of "dependence". On one hand there is the need to be able to depend and rely on the person of your affections,on the other--the reluctance to be dependent upon them. This particular issue can never be solved. People become dependent on others being dependent on them!! Like a doting mother who will not easily allow her nestlings to fly free from their maternal chains. Like a person who is a caregiver who depends on the quadripalegic to depend on their services to feel wanted and cared for. It does not matter if "shit hits the fan",because feces cleans up ( I learned this personally milking cows) What does matter is that you should be the person you would like to see. It is in the reflection of your own self that you will be seen. And if you turn out the lights while looking in the mirror,likely all you will see is nothing staring back at you.
(1) As as said above, she DID NOT ask me for money. She said she already had enough for the tuition. Since she's living with her sister, and working part-time,
she's self-supporting. Based on my visit with her earlier this year, I believe her.
(2) According to Natasha AND the ALCC, the Affidavit of Support is a formality;
in regards to actually supplying financial support, the schools exact words were, "You are not legally bound to do so". However, if you google "I-20 Application", you'll get a truckload of application from different schools. Each has their own financial requirements. Some require a notarized signature, some don't.
This is something I need to investigate further.
Lastly, in deference to vanechka, Natasha has done nothing to my shaft. . .
. . . I mean....my shaft has never. . .
. . . oh, you know what I mean. . ..
Olegnay, Olga, Nadya
Can we lose this guy? Just kill his membership should be easy as administrators. He is just disruptive to the forum and really has nothing to add here except to iritate everybody.
yes you see . When someone disagrees with the bullshit stories on this site you get elimninated.
lets be honest fiance.com and the loser men here dont want to face the reality. they just want you to think that most russian woman are honest and arent after a green card
Shame on you izifaddag ... throw the stone and run you loser