Sorry you're not touching a nerve with the psychoanalysis.
You've been going there what twenty years? All this time, you didn't find a suitable woman? I have the cavalier attitude?
She gave me much more than time:) before the gifts, which as I said were a little over a thousand. I spend more on booze and cigars for my buddies during poker nights. No harm done. I'm happy she enjoyed the gifts.
If you re-read it, let me fill you in: the very first evening just hours after my arrival, I showed her the lingerie that I brought for her and showed her which one I'd like her to put on for the evening. She did and came and lied next to me in bed. We had sex twice and again the next morning. For the following days, we had sex 2x2 every day. Each time, I told her which lingerie I wanted her to put on. She came to Kiev by train. I gave her the money for the train 4 or 5 days after I arrived. She also spent money for English lessons for one month just to learn the basics to talk to me. I never gave her this money. I bought her the gifts more than ten days after I arrived. She did not ask for the train money or the gifts. She did not ask for a translator. In fact, she offered her niece who is a college student in Kiev to translate for us and she did once (she would translate more often but I said no it's not needed). She never asked me to pay anything to her niece. The niece also translated for us on Skype several times before my visit. All I did for the niece: I took both of them to an upscale restaurant. Even so, the original plan was for the niece to have supper with us in the apartment, but I decided I wanted to take both of them out. As for the gifts, she never asked. I had her niece explain to her that I wanted to take her for shopping to Kreschatik and the Ocean Plaza. She and her had a talk on the phone and it was obvious that she thought it was too much. The first time we went there the two of us. We did not find anything she liked. We bought nothing. Two days later, I asked her niece to help her find something that she would like. So, we went again the three of us. None of this shows I wanted to buy her affection , I already had enough of it. Got it?
Was she flattered by the attention and the money? Of course she did silly. Eventually, it is about the dough and the status. Why do you think a girl like this who was getting the looks from much younger local guys all the time was with an older guy like me? Why do you think she dropped the other fiance forum guy (the guy from PA) to date me exclusively? She said he was too old and not interesting. May be so, not totally buying it. She said her English teacher: very important man coming, I want to be able to understand him. Of course she wanted to get married, she brought all the paperwork, translated including stuff about her ex that i never asked for. Of course, I would not marry her eventually. There is a chasm between us both in wherewithal and education. She speaks no English at all and does not have the capacity and perseverance to learn it. She has a very pretty face (while she's still young), but she'd be a total burden, she'd be miserable and unhappy, a total misfit inside my circle. She may not be book smart, but she is street smart, she figured all this.
I've dated probably a hundred or more FSU women. From what I can remember only two of them slept with me on the very first meeting almost immediately after we met. Most of them that I did would wait at least till the second or third date. At least the ones who had self respect.
It sounds to me 4re_geo you had a very loose girl there, but this is probably what you wanted.
Fellows, get a grip on yourselves . There is no need for nonsense....
We all have done this silliness. At the end you come your senses and start to retreat for the best of both. I don't regret any pocket chance I left behind, I had a blast. It was the attitude shown to my pretended ignorance. They thought that they were smart, ideal wife material,...but I saw deal breakers on them.
BWT. I only had a few but I had rolled with all of them on the first night upon arrival.
Any way... My ex said that near Poltava is 40 to 1 !!!!
4re_geo, following TomZ, I also read the thread and have come to the conclusion that you probably arent meant to find a girl here.
I dont think you give a damn about our language, our culture or lifestyle. You only see pink lips cheap!
You admitted you havent bothered to learn the language...either russian or Ukrainian yet expect a girl to learn yours?
Let me say that learning English is easy....well, unless you are mexican and refuse to learn.
She probably knew more than she admitted to. I have had cases of kids at 17 or 18 not knowing English well after 3 years in US only to find out
that the parents did not push it and they have played video games for 3 years.
Remember 4re_geo, you are coming to MY country. why not learn the language and not be like mexicans in America expecting everyone to do everything for them.
In Ukraine, we dont have the automatic welfare system.
Take a time out for 6 months and give your libido a rest and learn language and culture. You claim you are serious about marriage. prove it and make the effort
Rick posted "why not learn the language and not be like mexicans in America expecting everyone to do everything for them."
Dude,where do you get this from??? Let me hit you with some real facts.
Mexicans survive crossing illegally the border to work hard for nickels and dimes. they don't walk into the USA to collect Food Stamps aka welfare system. undocumented people don't qualified for it. USA is not like Europe. You should had know this if you had ever lived here. `
@4re_geo, thanks for your story but your need to stop wasting money and spend on upgrading your own values and morals. That's right homie, like Rick said "Take a time out for 6 months and give your libido a rest and learn language and culture. You claim you are serious about marriage. prove it and make the effort"
Rick: "While generally people were nice when they knew I was American citizen their attitudes were much more harsh and negative when i spoke Russian, which was my default when they didnt speak English at all. While I knew they understood me,(those in my age range, anyway)they were very negative until they knew I was American(I have a Kherson accent)."
Too old and not interesting ( the guy from Pa ) wow 4re_george ! You really got your shit together ! You are the man ! One thing about you,you love to boast. And her , she could`nt meet the criteria to be with your understanding friends.You have very high standards junior)). Find someone from your own crowd . I am sure if they dont tell people what a great swinging guy you are ,..they will (lol)! So go ahead and give out all my personal information.
P.S. I dont live in PA. anymore . I bought a home in Florida Keys in November,it`s 82 and sunny out fishing everyday . Retired at 55 . Please come to the Keys and come see how a boring old man is living ))) . Stay Warm. We dont brag about what we got going down here. Plenty of FSU women down here too. Save yourself the airfare and trinkets and keep it clean for the men here who have a real interest at heart.
Hey sun, no worries man, I didn't mean to offend, and shouldn't have mentioned anything. She had to say something and she did. She could have very well said the same things about me to you or others (there were a few others in those emails). As I said, I didn't buy any of this. I told you this before: between the two of us, you were the lucky one. She wasn't worth it. Enjoy your retirement. We are not as far as you'd think:)
Public conflict is not my thing. So, I will sign off. Thanks for all the good advice. Good luck to everyone!
From Elizabeth Duke, one-time member of the Board of Governors of the US Federal Reserve:
“I’d like to start with the story of an elderly wealthy gentleman who had taken a young bride and begun to spend money like crazy,” Ms. Duke said. “His friends got very concerned that he was going to go through his entire fortune, and they elected one of their number to go and talk to him about it. He said: ‘Sam, we’re really concerned. We want to make sure that you know that you can’t buy love.’ Sam said: ‘I know you can’t buy love, but if you spend enough money, you can buy something that looks so close you can hardly tell the difference.’ ”