great advice from kirkland
i just saw this post from Kirkland and had to post it here, very interesting and very useful.
End of an era
posted by Kirkland on 25.01.2009
http://forum.fiance.com/forum2.asp?Main=ShowTopic&forumid=1&topicid=4352
I'm winding down my visits to this forum due to other commitments, I've done this fsu thing for the last 2 years know and would consider myself fairly successful in terms of dating great women. (Believe me the women are great, and you will fall for them) I'm winding down my visits to this forum due to other commitments, I've done this fsu thing for the last 2 years know and would consider myself fairly successful in terms of dating great women. (Believe me the women are great, and you will fall for them)
I never went into it marriage minded....but that's another story.
I never had anything seriously long term...but that's another story too.
I fell for the first Russian girl I met and spent the rest of the time looking to replace her with others.
If you want a formula I guess mine worked pretty well for me.
I used dating sites where you can directly contact the girls....stick your profile on and message any girls that take your fancy.
If the girls are serious they will answer you yes or no right away or the next day at least. Most of these sites will let the girls know that they have a message and they will come and read it, look at your profile and either ignore you or reply.
Another function of good sites is that you know when your message has been read...so if they ignored you; there's your answer.
Once the replies start flooding in...(!) and if you have a good profile you'll get messages too, then you can start the thinning process.
Bikini models...forget them (don't be an idiot, you're over 40 remember)
23 year olds who want to start a family...scrub them off.
No knowledge of English...sorry you'll never communicate the way you really want to. Too many misunderstandings....fancy learning Russian?...take you years...even living there.
Read between the lines of her profile...she likes to travel? Where? If she doesn't work in the travel industry she ain't traveled. If she's had frequent trips to Turkey or Egypt ask your self why or how...they can't afford foreign holidays..
At some point you'll begin correspondence with a number of possibles.
Next step is to thin out the ones who aren't serious, the ones who just like to chat to improve their English, or like the notion of having a foreign boyfriends phone number.
And of course the scammers....remember you want to be chatting soon in real time..on IM or on the phone. Scammers never hang around long enough for you to message them...they're fictitious and you can't speak to a fictitious person.
If she won't give you her private email address...move on.
If she says she doesn't have an email address...move on....she needs an email address to be on the site. (The dating sites that is...not the marriage agencies)
If she won't give you her phone number...move on.
Consider who you want to communicate with carefully and show careful consideration with who you communicate...worked fine for me.
I only ever went for women over 30 and even a thirty year old was pushing it a bit....I was early 40's when I started.
I use this simple fact to keep my big head thinking over my little head:- 25 year old girls in my country look through me as if I'm not there...I don't expect that to be different from girls in any country. And if they're 25 and interested it's not for my big heart.
Women mid thirties are normally with a kid; they are not flighty and are usually sincere. But sometimes they don't really know what they want.
It easy to get what you want....the trick is actually knowing what you want.
One thing I have learned is that most fsu women have a crushing lack of self confidence. It may not be apparent when you meet them...they will try to hide it.... but it's there.
That doesn't mean that they're a push-over. If she doesn't like you, you'll have no chance. Never mistake the fact that she's alone and lives with her mother...etc etc for desperation. These women have had little control over their lives but they are generally smart enough to take an educated guess on you...don't try fool them.
Anyway...that's my take on this, my job enabled me to travel and meet quite a few women from fsu. Due to company cut back I can no longer do this.
My main reason for quitting this is I have a girlfriend in Spain who is completely sincere, honest and is crazy about me. It is a long distant relationship but the differences between fsu & European relationships are immense.
From UK I can get to Barcelona at the drop of a hat...less than 100 quid return, few hours flight, one bus and I'm at her door.
The preparation, cost, time limitations and general hassle of getting fsu countries is too much. Even when you have gone through all of this, you're still not sure if you're going to get ripped off or not.
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