I'm winding down my visits to this forum due to other commitments, I've done this fsu thing for the last 2 years know and would consider myself fairly successful in terms of dating great women. (Believe me the women are great, and you will fall for them) I'm winding down my visits to this forum due to other commitments, I've done this fsu thing for the last 2 years know and would consider myself fairly successful in terms of dating great women. (Believe me the women are great, and you will fall for them)
I never went into it marriage minded....but that's another story.
I never had anything seriously long term...but that's another story too.
I fell for the first Russian girl I met and spent the rest of the time looking to replace her with others.
If you want a formula I guess mine worked pretty well for me.
I used dating sites where you can directly contact the girls....stick your profile on and message any girls that take your fancy.
If the girls are serious they will answer you yes or no right away or the next day at least. Most of these sites will let the girls know that they have a message and they will come and read it, look at your profile and either ignore you or reply.
Another function of good sites is that you know when your message has been read...so if they ignored you; there's your answer.
Once the replies start flooding in...(!) and if you have a good profile you'll get messages too, then you can start the thinning process.
Bikini models...forget them (don't be an idiot, you're over 40 remember)
23 year olds who want to start a family...scrub them off.
No knowledge of English...sorry you'll never communicate the way you really want to. Too many misunderstandings....fancy learning Russian?...take you years...even living there.
Read between the lines of her profile...she likes to travel? Where? If she doesn't work in the travel industry she ain't traveled. If she's had frequent trips to Turkey or Egypt ask your self why or how...they can't afford foreign holidays..
At some point you'll begin correspondence with a number of possibles.
Next step is to thin out the ones who aren't serious, the ones who just like to chat to improve their English, or like the notion of having a foreign boyfriends phone number.
And of course the scammers....remember you want to be chatting soon in real time..on IM or on the phone. Scammers never hang around long enough for you to message them...they're fictitious and you can't speak to a fictitious person.
If she won't give you her private email address...move on.
If she says she doesn't have an email address...move on....she needs an email address to be on the site. (The dating sites that is...not the marriage agencies)
If she won't give you her phone number...move on.
Consider who you want to communicate with carefully and show careful consideration with who you communicate...worked fine for me.
I only ever went for women over 30 and even a thirty year old was pushing it a bit....I was early 40's when I started.
I use this simple fact to keep my big head thinking over my little head:- 25 year old girls in my country look through me as if I'm not there...I don't expect that to be different from girls in any country. And if they're 25 and interested it's not for my big heart.
Women mid thirties are normally with a kid; they are not flighty and are usually sincere. But sometimes they don't really know what they want.
It easy to get what you want....the trick is actually knowing what you want.
One thing I have learned is that most fsu women have a crushing lack of self confidence. It may not be apparent when you meet them...they will try to hide it.... but it's there.
That doesn't mean that they're a push-over. If she doesn't like you, you'll have no chance. Never mistake the fact that she's alone and lives with her mother...etc etc for desperation. These women have had little control over their lives but they are generally smart enough to take an educated guess on you...don't try fool them.
Anyway...that's my take on this, my job enabled me to travel and meet quite a few women from fsu. Due to company cut back I can no longer do this.
My main reason for quitting this is I have a girlfriend in Spain who is completely sincere, honest and is crazy about me. It is a long distant relationship but the differences between fsu & European relationships are immense.
From UK I can get to Barcelona at the drop of a hat...less than 100 quid return, few hours flight, one bus and I'm at her door.
The preparation, cost, time limitations and general hassle of getting fsu countries is too much. Even when you have gone through all of this, you're still not sure if you're going to get ripped off or not.
1)Very often men become interested in Russian (Or FSU) women as a result of receiving letter by email. Letters from people they have never written to or even thought of. These are almost always letters from scammers who will ultimately (If you send the right signals) attempt to scam you for money in some form or another.
2)Young Russian women are NOT desperate and only a few young Russian Women are interested in older men. Of those few, only a few are interested for the right reasons and quite a number of them are seeking financial benefit.
3)Usually, Russian Women will not be interested in travelling to your country to meet with you. Scammers will play this card right up until you send them money for the ticket and then disappear.
4)There is many and varied internet sources telling you that there is hundreds of thousands of Russian Women who can’t find a husband because there is so many more women than men in Russia. This is nonsense. It may be true in some selected locations but official Russian demographic figures were published during 2006 and in the marriageable groups, the numbers of men vs women are so near to 50/50 it wasn’t worth further discussion.
5)If you want to find a Russian (Or other FSU country) wife, you will travel there to meet her. Most likely you will travel there several times. A Russian Woman who is worth courting as a potential wife will be a well educated and articulate human being. She will NOT simply be a stay at home sex/baby machine, nor will she simply be a ornament to carry on your arm so your friends can admire your international conquest. Notwithstanding, she can do all of the above with dignity and style.
You should at least digest these few points and then consider whether or not you are seriously interested in following this path. It is a wonderful path but it is not simple.
Female hustlers bring natural advantages to the world of scamming.
The advent of online dating has enriched Ukrainian women to the tune of thousands - or even tens of thousands of dollars. Much of it is extracted from foreigners harmlessly, for the most part, except to the men's bank accounts.
The U.S. Consular section said the internet scams have a common theme. "The Ukrainian woman solicits money and gifts from the U.S. citizen while leading him on about her true intent in the relationship." Westerners and their money are used for travel, computers, fake requests for medicine and fictional surgeries.
"Many men victimized in these scams harbor misconceptions about women from this part of the world," the U.S. Consular section said in a statement. "The men also believe the women here are so desperate to emigrate that physical differences, i.e. beauty and age, are not factors in finding a husband ... this usually is not the case."
According to anti-scam.org, an online blacklist of women in the former Soviet Union who are identified as scammers, there are three types of scenarios.
The most common and simplest one is to request "money for correspondence." Small amounts of up to $100 are asked to pay for tabs at Internet cafes to continue exchanging e-mails.
A second and bolder approach is to ask for gift deliveries, even money to pay for the processing of travel visas, usually a student or fiance visa, and airfare to the U.S. to visit their newly found loved ones.
A third reason for money is to help pay for medicine or an urgently needed surgery. "Sometimes a woman strings along the man for so long that she actually goes through the visa process, gets the visa, travels to the U.S. for a few months, and then comes back to Ukraine. And sometimes the woman will begin the process all over again (sometimes with the same man)," the U.S. Consular section said.
Female online scammers are getting more sophisticated, according to David Skol, owner of flowerstoukraine.com, a flower delivery service. He also offers a U.S.-based scam-check service. "What we're seeing is that women are providing more information to look like they're not hiding anything, such as a scanned visa they send when corresponding. Or, a group of people start a website advertising a fictitious travel agency to look legitimate, which they shut down as soon as they successfully extract money several times," Skol said.
Skol said he started the online scam-check service when many addresses for flower deliveries turned out to be phony or non-existent. Skol said his network of agents cover more than 600 towns and cities in the former Soviet Union, including Ukraine.
As for online dating scams, Skol said the advice is simple: "Never send money."
well... it's about 9:20am and another not so sunny morning in kyiv! at least it's not so cold today... about +2ºC. and it's probably time me and olya actually went to sleep! it's great... she sleeps at even more strange times than me when she can! no plans for today apart from sleeping and working on some more coding later on...
all the snow has melted now! there was snow everywhere a couple of days ago, olya even bought me a pair of winter boots so i'll be ok! mind you, i still need to buy a decent winter coat! i've heard it might be one of the coldest winters for a long long time this year... maybe even lower than -15ºC here? should be fun!