I’m winding down my visits to this forum due to other commitments, I’ve done this fsu thing for the last 2 years know and would consider myself fairly successful in terms of dating great women. (Believe me the women are great, and you will fall for them)
I never went into it marriage minded….but that’s another story.
I never had anything seriously long term…but that’s another story too.
I fell for the first Russian girl I met and spent the rest of the time looking to replace her with others.
If you want a formula I guess mine worked pretty well for me.
I used dating sites where you can directly contact the girls….stick your profile on and message any girls that take your fancy.
If the girls are serious they will answer you yes or no right away or the next day at least. Most of these sites will let the girls know that they have a message and they will come and read it, look at your profile and either ignore you or reply.
Another function of good sites is that you know when your message has been read…so if they ignored you; there’s your answer.
Once the replies start flooding in…(!) and if you have a good profile you’ll get messages too, then you can start the thinning process.
Bikini models…forget them (don’t be an idiot, you’re over 40 remember)
23 year olds who want to start a family…scrub them off.
No knowledge of English…sorry you’ll never communicate the way you really want to. Too many misunderstandings….fancy learning Russian?...take you years…even living there.
Read between the lines of her profile…she likes to travel? Where? If she doesn’t work in the travel industry she ain’t traveled. If she’s had frequent trips to Turkey or Egypt ask your self why or how…they can’t afford foreign holidays..
At some point you’ll begin correspondence with a number of possibles.
Next step is to thin out the ones who aren’t serious, the ones who just like to chat to improve their English, or like the notion of having a foreign boyfriends phone number.
And of course the scammers….remember you want to be chatting soon in real time..on IM or on the phone. Scammers never hang around long enough for you to message them…they’re fictitious and you can’t speak to a fictitious person.
If she won’t give you her private email address…move on.
If she says she doesn’t have an email address…move on….she needs an email address to be on the site. (The dating sites that is…not the marriage agencies)
If she won’t give you her phone number…move on.
Consider who you want to communicate with carefully and show careful consideration with who you communicate…worked fine for me.
I only ever went for women over 30 and even a thirty year old was pushing it a bit….I was early 40’s when I started.
I use this simple fact to keep my big head thinking over my little head:- 25 year old girls in my country look through me as if I’m not there…I don’t expect that to be different from girls in any country. And if they’re 25 and interested it’s not for my big heart.
Women mid thirties are normally with a kid; they are not flighty and are usually sincere. But sometimes they don’t really know what they want.
It easy to get what you want….the trick is actually knowing what you want.
One thing I have learned is that most fsu women have a crushing lack of self confidence. It may not be apparent when you meet them…they will try to hide it…. but it’s there.
That doesn’t mean that they’re a push-over. If she doesn’t like you, you’ll have no chance. Never mistake the fact that she’s alone and lives with her mother…etc etc for desperation. These women have had little control over their lives but they are generally smart enough to take an educated guess on you…don’t try fool them.
Anyway…that’s my take on this, my job enabled me to travel and meet quite a few women from fsu. Due to company cut back I can no longer do this.
My main reason for quitting this is I have a girlfriend in Spain who is completely sincere, honest and is crazy about me. It is a long distant relationship but the differences between fsu & European relationships are immense.
From UK I can get to Barcelona at the drop of a hat…less than 100 quid return, few hours flight, one bus and I’m at her door.
The preparation, cost, time limitations and general hassle of getting fsu countries is too much. Even when you have gone through all of this, you’re still not sure if you’re going to get ripped off or not.
'I never went into it marriage minded….but that’s another story.
I never had anything seriously long term…but that’s another story too.
I fell for the first Russian girl I met and spent the rest of the time looking to replace her with others.'
can you explain that? it sounds as if you were leading the girls on or maybe just using them and throwing them away when you 'replaced' them. if thats true your kind of ruining the scene for the good guys. anyway, karma's a bitch.
that being said, this was probably the best post I have
ever read about dating fsu women. its spot on.
one thing that would be nice to hear from you and others
is some good experiences with the dating sites or marriage agencies
that you have used.
Please Sticky this moderators! I have repeated a lot of this time and time again in different peoples posts. Please save me the time and others the questions and just sticky this to the top of the threads!
Gecko - The women I met were adults and I never left any of them wailing at the airport. Most of the women I met I am still in contact with….maybe they are keeping me open as an option.
Karma is a philosophical concept that gets distorted to mean cosmic justice.
It's not like Judge Judy.
I got lucky or unlucky with lady no.1…whichever way you look at it. Lucky to have met her…unlucky to have lost her….And no woman I have met since…even in Ukraine, can come close to her…I couldn’t find anyone to replace her…that’s what I mean…call that Karma if you want.
Agree with Gecko
Very good post
I like and fully agree with the part about the dating sites.
I met my wife on a site where the men put their profile and women have theirs. Men paid a 2 month membership (approx 40Euro) and if a women looked at your site and liked what she saw, she ticked a box and then you would see that she was showing interest. Also visa versa, you could tick the women’s box (no pun intended) and she could see you have shown interest in her and if she liked your profile she would tick yours. So after all the box ticking – it sort of made the initial intro more relaxed knowing that you were both interested in each other. All women had DIRECT email address’s too !!!
My wife and I met by an act of her daughter and Mama. She had been single for 8 years and 100% no dating in all that time and they put her profile on without her knowing. I ticked her profile and the daughter ticked mine back, and it all led from there !!!!!
English – YES – I think a BIG plus and total necessity. Tried with a women with NO English 1st time and it didn’t work, kidded myself that it would, but near on impossible.
Good luck Kirk – all the best. Spain – mmmm – wouldn’t mind a look there one day ???
>learning Russian?...take you years…even living there
English-speaking people are so lazy for studying foreign languages. I think it's because English is the easiest language to study.
>Bikini models…forget them (don’t be an idiot, you’re over 40 remember)23 year olds who want to start a family…scrub them off.
>they can’t afford foreign holidays..
Oh ha ha, do you really think people here are so poor and they can't afford a holiday in Turkey or Egypt, furthermore sometimes it is cheaper than having holidays in Ukraine
One Ukrainian woman I took on holiday to Turkey never put her hand in her pocket one single time.
This was a woman who had a job...at the time. She's since lost it, so won't be going any more holidays and certainly not under her own steam.
Sure.. if your talking about Yalta or Odessa...probably cheaper to go Turkey or Egypt...for some.
However; no woman I knew could get there herself. And the hassle is hardly worth it...right?
The woman I'm talking about in this thread (the irreplacable one) was dirt poor. I reckon she'd be lucky to be earning $100 a month. Hardly gets you on the boat.
"learning Russian?...take you years…even living there"
Armin....at least someone takes the time to try to learn russian language. I figure if you are trying to find your partner in a foreign country you should try to learn some of the language. No one is expecting to become fluent in a few years. Even if you know the word, trying to pronounce it correctly is a different story as well as the tense....As I try to speak russian, you will find everyone on the floor rolling around.......
Armin...I do wonder exactly what these girls in ukraine can afford to go on holidays. It is dirt cheap to take train from anywhere in ukraine to seaside for summer. Not sure about lodging though, isn't there one price for foreigners and one for ukrainians? As far as girls going on holiday to turkey, egypt or even dubai......it may very well be a 'business trip'.
One last thing....the reason so many euro's know different languages is you are several steps from another country and another language, so much intermingling. If I wasn't so close to mexico, I would have to go 2000 miles to find another language and in 48 countries in europe is maybe 1000 miles.......
God decided that the world will have many languages when the tower of Babel (Babylon) was erected. That's about 90 km south of Baghdad. That's in Europe, so there are many languages in Europe. We are not affected that bad here in the US because the tower of Babel is far from here.
Good one, aucklander. It's been a while since I've been to school. I had to look that one up. I learned something. The Middle East is in Asia. When Iraq is in the news, it is usually the Europeans who act, not the Asians. I was just trying a little humor.
I have spoken French since aged 8..I'm now learning Spanish. One day I intend to learn Italian....but only because I have a knack for languages which I never realised I had until recently.
These 3 languages are similar due to common origin and easier to learni you know one of them.
I learnt a little Russian and made attempts to communicate in Russian to a woman who knew no English. It was a long drawn out affair and did not work out.
Sure... English speaking people are generally lazy when it comes to learning other languages. I'm guessing simply because English is the most widely used language outside UK.
I'm always in admiration of non-UK people who have good knowledge of English. Especially Russians whose own language has differnt origins.
I'm mindful of the fact that most of the women I am in contact with had their schooling under soviet system and if it wasn't for this I would never be able to communicate with them.
brand new in this ball game - saw this fine post by the Brit above and decided to do my intro with this little post here. Early 40s male here from southern Europe; got hooked in this ever since I bumped into a site via googling back in November about sth completely different.
Mistyped bribe, so the bride led me to bride.ru in fact and from there on to all sorts of sites. Created fake profiles just to look at these women. I couldn't and still cannot believe it like. I mean strewth! They're absolutely f*cking stunning; I was in awe.
OK - don't jump on me. I ain't daft; I could sense that something is going on. Though some of them amongst the professional daters must be real. Indeed they must be poor and not so confident; hence the hunt for the money.
There's no way you can have a woman with such striking looks down here where I live. Unless if you own an income the size of Steve Jobs, a Platimum unlimited visa and parking your Maserati in Beverly Hills that is. lol
Anyway, it wasn't long till a fine lady approached me and I can tell ya; she's not the type to bring on the now infamous medical bills scam.
The site itself is probably part of a larger network cause I've seen her profile in a local one where she's from; though it's consistent. I mean she's not Marina here and Tatiana there or something. She's in her mid thirties and looks like she's a good gal. I haven't got a clue about her past obviously like if she was abused from drunk boyfriends; I only know she's a checkout whereas I have an M.Sc (I'm in the software business). I speak Fluent English, hers must be rather crappy cause she needs a translator.
She's the sports type, I'm not - says she like traveling I doubt she's been anywhere. She doesn't go out much and it's weird but she's doesn't seem to know much about anything. But she's drop dead gorgeous; as I said 30somethings with her looks down here are the wives of high-flying solicitors, bankers and so on.
I know it's too early to get hooked cause there are hundreds it seems; where the hell are the Ukrainians anyway? Are they blind? Anyway, 5 or 6 online messages via the site only and she invited me to visit her at her homeland already. This is weird and unexpected to say the least. Well, I don't look that bad myself - needless to say my mailbox is crammed with e-letters & virtual smiles from 20 years olds. Nah, I think I'll pass.
What'd you reckon? Sounds genuine, doesn't it? What if someone goes there visit some unknown Ukrainian lady, crash on the couch in her house or something and then her boyfriend or her brother rushes in, attacks and they kidnap the poor sod for ransom? F*ck.
I always tend to get long-winded - sorry. Thanks for reading this - I'll go through the topics in the forum. Probably too early for me - you must have had fun with quite a few of them ladies. Don't mind going all the way to the church if she's that special one though. But then again, she could be a con artist. Still. I'm quite good reading the signs, but I'm new in this - ain't I?
Newinthis: Your post raises many of the questions which remain subject to contention all over most forums devoted to this topic. Fair to say, if you are asking the questions, you have some chance of keeping your nuts out of the wringer, some chance.
You’ll receive a variety of advices and at the end of the day it will be up to you to distil the information you can utilise. Understand, opinions are like arsholes, everyone has one and some are not particularly attractive.
To the point at hand, I would be circumspect with your current communications, however if the lady is 30+, it is not unlikely she is sitting “on the shelf”. I’m not surprised by her invitation to visit. Likely she has been communicating with dozens of keyboard wankers who will never come to visit. If I may venture some advice, I would find some local support, IE an all service agent who can assist with meeting others if nothing works out, plan a holiday (Not a wife hunt) and accept her invitation. Watch her reaction, it will tell you much of what you need to know. Ask her advices on places to stay but make your own arrangements. Make sure you are running the show.
IMO, the first trip should be very much a fact finding mission. Don’t get hung up on finding a wife first up. Go visit, enjoy her company and enjoy the location, if something serious develops between you, then great, if not, it’s a good start with learning the ropes. This is a murky ocean and one needs a long arm to reach the pearls which are hidden well below the surface.
BTW, some humorous advice my grandfather gave me when I was first dating about a hundred years ago. Plan your date, get ready, have a good wank just before you leave to pick her up and she will look half as good when you see her. That way you will be thinking with the big head and not the other head. Perhaps the advice is applicable when searching dating sites.